Liu Yang: My Kind of Guy!

Quickly, what do the following phrases mean?
"Shangri-La is in your mind, but your Buffalo is not."
"Please lead your child to tare the life."
"Careful. Landslip. Attention Security."
They must mean something because they are real-life signs found in Beijing, China. The first is on a billboard, the second in an elevator, and the third is located in the airport.
Now, THAT clears everything up, doesn't it?
That's why Liu Yang is the man; he's the head of the "Beijing Speaks Foreign Languages Program" in China. His job is to prepare the city for the upcoming Olympics, an event which will draw upwards of 500,000 visitors, many of whom speak English. Thus far, Yang has placed 6,500 common English phrases on signs around the city. I hope these are not examples!
However, a country that forbids spitting and bad manners in public annot be ALL wrong, as far as I can see.
In fact, I would like Liu Yang to come here to put up signs in real English for the edification of all. That would mean I would not be subjected to things like this:
A senior at our school is floating a petition to allow the use of MP3 players in school. He is even soliciting teacher signatures because, as he puts it, "The students will be more quite in class."
Every day I drive past (or is it "passed"?) a sign for an ornamental plaster business that advertises display models "in side." Nothing there but a wall.
A local business gives directions to potential customeers to "turn left at the lite." I looked for hours and could not find the beer bottle, margarine container or even a bulb anywhere.
All this poor usage makes me so angry that I could spit. Good thing I don't live in China.