Culture Vultures

Holy Guacamole! Lance practicing his craft.

See, the thing about travel is that it's supposed to be such an enriching experience. Being enlivened by different cultural experiences ostensibly makes us better able to thrive in an ever-increasing global world. There are a couple of things about this that I find to be true, and, in some ways, we are afficianados of culture in the areas of art and the culinary delights. I'll save the art aspect for another day when I'm feeling more highbrow...seeing my pictures of the skeletons of the Dia de los Muertes will just have to wait. "Let's grub up," as my friend Karl used to say before sitting down at some all-you-can-eat-and-not-heave place.
We (this is the editorial version, since I had nothing to do with it) were drawn to a highly-acclaimed restaurant along the RiverWalk in San Antonio; we were drawn by the fact that their unique method of making and serving guacamole is world-renowned. I hate avocados so you can see the "we" thing was really editorial. Anyway, the menu offers a special avacodo dish for two at $8.95. Our query of "Can we get this for one?" was met with the disdain that only a snooty waiter at a world-renowned place can conjure up. I selected something safe: Lone Star Light and ate some chips. Lance, our waiter, soon returned (after all, this was a prime table right on the water so the ducks could bug the hell out of diners for crumbs when the tourist boats weren't sloshing wake all over one's shoes) with several bowls and plates. He proceeded to squeeze half an orange and half a lime into a bowl, eviscerate an entire avocado and mash it all up for five minutes while engaging in witty repartee such as "Hey, this is great stuff. Madam has made an exquisite choice." He tossed in some salsa, green peppers and some onions, and actually made it look palatable...not that I was about to find out. "Madam" proceeded to make noises like she was that chick in the restaurant in "When Harry Met Sally" trying to convince Billy Crystal that women...uh...fake it. Anyway, she proclainmed it excellent, the ducks got a few chip scraps, I had another Lone Star Light, and Lance got a big tip. Pretty much a success story all the way around. Nothing like the place in Champaign, Illinois, that promises "Burritos As Big As Your Head," but definitely more than passable.
For an international taste, I ordered Shepherd's Pie at an Irish place the next day. It was a tossup between that and something called "Bangers and Mash." The bartender/waiter suggested the former when I vacillated. I think it was OK...not really a taste sensation like the first time my daughter-in-law prepared something with fish sauce, but still, international in flavor. Of course, the Harp's Lager and Guinness may have had an effct on my taste buds.
There was the invariable Mexican food which was good as one might expect in South Texas, and the barbeque which was surprisingly ordinary. I thought the South was big into Bar-B-Q. Turns out, it's only big for tourists who don't know any better; however, Shiner Bock,served in mugs as big as your head and brewed in Texas, goes great with ordinary ribs.
I'm all about culture, as you can see. Grub up!