Bowling for Fitness

My normal metabolic rate just sitting here is 1.0; I'm not certain how it's measured, but there's only 1 of them. Of course, typing might generate more, but...Let's just say I'm not getting much exercise at the moment.
With the Boston Marathon coming up on Monday, exercising is on my mind. Back in 1984 when I ran in that race, I averaged a few tenths of a second under six minutes per mile for the whole race...all 26+ miles of it. Now, I doubt I could run more than one six-minute mile in a row. Why have I fallen so far (other than the ensuing knee operations?) Was the fame of finishing 583rd too much for me? Did I get sick of pasta? nah...the real reason? Bowling.
I teach bowling to high school students not noted for going out of their way to engage in exercise. Since sitting on the couch gives a metabolic rate of 1 (something), bowling for them is great exercise! Shoot, the metabolic rate of bowling is 3.5. Bowling burns 4 calories per minute on average. That is eqivalent to biking for a minute at 6 miles per hour, canoeing at 2.5 miles per hour, vacuuming the living room and/or gardening. During each class period, we burn in excess of 250 calories...good for me, but about equal to what they consume daily in Pringles.
Nobody will claim bowling has the capability to enhance cardiovascular fitness, but, like golf (and equally boring to watch on TV) it does build muscle strength, increases flexibility and does the same for range of motion. I find it too quiet, though. Last week, it was so quiet that I could hear a pin drop at the alley.
Still seem boring to you? The National Federation of State High School Association reports that it is the fastest growing sanctioned sport in the country for our kids, both in the number of active bowlers and the number of school-sponsored teams. The state of Illinois alone had 184 girls' teams and 141 boys' teams as of 2005. I know there are high school teams here in the Green Bay area, and I think I read something about a state tournament as well here in Wisconsin. No word on how the beer frame is scored in high school or whether the coaches like myself are constantly remionding kids to get their minds out of the gutter.
So the next time you feel a bit sluggish and want to claim a fitness regiment without actually, you know, breathing too hard, get to the local lanes and kegel a few. Swearing at the pins will deduct extra calories as well.
You could also pedal a stationary bike between frames. I think the canoe and/or the gardening tools will be a problem, though, so you'll just have to bowl more than one game.
Just avoid the beer frame and those see-through balls with flowers inside them.