And I Just Twiddle Mine!

It's not that it just seems like I'm the last to know a lot of stuff...I AM the last to know. For example, I just learned about "Blackberry Thumb," and it's been in the news since September. In my naivete, I initally thought it was a way to tell who'd been snitching the fruit, but it turns out to be a rather common malady suffered by people who frequently use PDAs (Personal Digital Assistants...live ones are too expensive, it seems). Anyway, continually activating the buttons on said assistants have led to the RMD (Repetitve Motion Disorder) called "Blackberry Thumb." This horrific and painful condition affects mainly middle-aged people who repeatedly check and compose email, send IM (Instant Messages...I love acronyms :) ) and access the internet. Really? I thought all middle-aged people were technophobes like me. Actually, it's not that I fear the new technology...I DO have a couple of iPods, for example; it's just that my damn thumbs are simply too big for those teeny, tiny buttons on those danged devices for me to use effectively. Heck, I can't even really TYPE (oops: "word process") well enough, and don't even get me started on the remote controls which control every electric device in the house and will probably open the garage door and make me a smoothie at the same time! IM on my cell phone? Fat chance! Anyhow, the MA (middle-agers) have underlying arthritis, it seems, and all that extra thumb motion exacerbates it. This is according to the APTA (American Physical Therapy Association) which has at least five exercises one can do to stave off this debilitating ailment. The one I would most favor, though, is the one where I get to throw my personal assistant across the room and watch those teeny, tiny buttons scream in agony as they hit first the wall and then the floor!
I don't need a personal assistant: I need more private time to reflect on weighty issues such as why Ron Santo didn't get into the baseball HOF (Hall of Fame) again this year. I think the electors have been sitting on their thumbs too long...let me see...a brown fruit...hmmm...it'll come to me eventually.