Tintin Two...uh, Deux

The original Tintin. Our hero wishes to remain faceless.




Once again, I am absolutely the last to find out about something, but this time, I've made the discovery just in time. It always amazes me how someone who considers himself to be literate can be totally ignorant of widely-read literature more than 70 years old! I am speaking of the series of comic adventures of Tintin, cub reporter, which were originally penned in Belgium beginning in 1929 by Georges Remi under the penname of Herge.


Normally, I could excuse myself because these renowned stories were written in a foreign language in a country I'd only associated with waffles and horses. However, the more than 200 million copies of thse texts were sold by cleverly translating them into 50 languages! I have no excuse (since ignorance is never accapted as an excuse). Fortunately, my son Ryun came to my rescue when he gave me a T-shirt featuring Tintin the other day and patiently (somewhat) explained to me what I'd missed in my cave-dwelling days.


A trek to B & N proved him right, and I managed to pick up the first in a collected series of Tintin comics, explaining to my wife that our grandson would be getting these after he finished The Boxcar Children. When she appraised me with a dubious look, Ryun again jumped to my rescue by saying that's what got him so interested in reading: the fact that I'd read comic books to him for hours on end. Of course, one can reply that such an activity has also produced some less positive aspects of his personality as well, but that's another story. This is where the information comes in handy...there is a REAL LIVE DUPLICATE of Tintin existing in anonymity (until now).


In the stories, Tintin is an investigative reported who is always accompanied by his dog Snowy. Ne'er-do-wells are constantly trying to kidnap, kill or incapacitate our plucky hero, but he manages, with Snowy's help, to extricate himself from every sticky spot and come back stronger than ever with the mystery solved. So it is with Lee Lawrenz.


While only a seemingly local newshound, Lee is the embodiment of Tintin. He was slyly trying to ascertain just yesterday whether or not Gu was, in fact, a perfomance-enhancing substance used by the track team at Algoma High School. The coach was playing it close to the vest and tried to distract our intrepid reporter by asking him to take photos of the team. On his way back to the office, Lee was struck violently by an unknown assailant driving BACKWARDS IN A BLACK, PONTIAC GRAND AM IN THE SCHOOL PARKING LOT! Our hero flew from his feet to the icy pavement with his incriminating notes flying everywhere as the hitman screeched away thinking he'd cemented the Gu secret forever. Lee, his mouth set in a disdainful sneer, simply picked himself up, gathered his far-flung notes and went back to work.


No doubt, the vehicle is already at a chop shop in Chicago, but our gallant hero would not be deterred. He refused to even call the police or report the "accident,"
vowing to solve that incident later.

"Calling attention to this heinous attempt would only make it harder for me to solve this mystery," he said. "I WILL get to the bottom of this if I have to grill the coach three times this season instead of the normal one." Tension is, indeed, high, and we're all peering carefully over our shoulders and making every attempt not to stand too close to Tintin Two (Deux).