Why I Wear A Hat To Bed

I'm not a big hat fanatic. Most of the time, I eschew them in order to give my hair a chance to breathe...thus, insuring a longer life span for the follicles. I'll admit I was tempted this weekend to buy a new chapeau at NikeTown in Chicago. Those clever Research and Development guys at Nike developed a stocking hat device that actually had speakers sewn in as well as a connecting cord for an iPod shuffle. Connect the iPod, clip it to the hat: no cords to tangle and all the music a person wanted...or at most 240 tracks in succession. The decision not to buy rested solely on the fact that it's going to be summer soon (in Wisconsin that means July) and it was not practical. Jesse Courtney will get one soon, though, I predict.
This 9-year-old kid who lives in Oregon (home to Nike) kept telling his mother that he heard noises in his head like Rice Krispies...you know, snap, crackle, pop. She took him to the doctor who examined young Jesse and decided there might be something in there after all.
When the doctor irrigated (flushed with water) the kid's ear, a dead spider came out. Upon an ensuing irrigation, a second, this time LIVE, spider swam to freedom from the ear canal. It seems that the arachnids had been tap-dancing on Jesse's eardrum which accounted for the noise he heard.
Maybe he needs one of those Nike hats in order to play heavy metal...no spider would come near him then.
As for me...I'm digging through the winter hat drawer tonight before bed. EEEK!