Cigars and Scotch...or Chainsaws and Torches

Now that the political campaign ads have been replaced (ad nauseam) with holiday gift suggestions and Black(and blue) Friday is a recent memory, it's time to decide how to solve the gift-giving conundrum. I have eschewed the Neiman-Marcus catalog this year because nobody I know shops there. Instead, I have turned to Reddit.com. While not exactly a compelling place for gift-giving guides, it will have to do for the time being. I have already insisted that NOBODY should get me anything since I have everything I want, and what I don't have and might want, I'd prefer to buy myself. However, since my protestations will probably be ignored as they were for my birthday...I needed a list. According to the savvy shoppers at Reddit, here are some of the things NOT to get any guy...and I include myself in that category:
DO NOT under any circumstance get underwear, socks or cologne. They top Reddit's list of gifts to avoid if you want to remain friendly until New Year's. However, there are many possibilities to delight that special man on your list, and in no particular order, here they are. (Notice I wrote "the man on your list," but I did not include myself.)
1. Glenfiddich scotch
2. Cuban cigars.  (the editors feel one can NEVER go wrong with the two in combination.)
3. A chainsaw. seriously. ( the editors also opine that chainsaws and torches are essentials.)
4. Knives and flashlights...the serious tactical kind for self-defense at any time of day or night, I guess.
5. Coffee (in lieu of a mug, I think)
6. Tires. really. tires for the car.
7. Concert tickets. Now THIS is a possibility, but every time one of the kids mentions a concert he or she thinks I would like, I end up going...after buying both mine ticket and his or hers! Usually, I get a free T-shirt, though.
8. Gift cards. I'm actually OK with these, particularly if they involve food of some kind.

So...for the guy who has "everything," I'll bet he does not have everything on this list. I'll also bet he might not want everything on that list; it's best to keep one simple rule in mind:
Don't mix scotch and chainsaws. or torches.