Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

At Least I'm Still Here

While hoarders stock up and kids wonder what the heck the fuss is all about, the iconic Hostess company has decided to close its doors in a labor dispute...meaning the end of Twinkie the Kid (seriously? A guy you could call "Twinkie"?) and a host of other products people of a certain generation have come to see as the ultimate in comfort foods. Me? I'd take a Hostess Snowball any day of the week. I loved to squeeze the marshmallow stuff through my teeth. No more, though. I couldn't even find any at the store today, and I looked for ten minutes. Lest we think the world is coming to an end, let me remind you that Hostess is just the latest in a long line of beloved-by-some companies that have gone under, whether to outsourcing, labor disputes, changing American tastes, or competition from within. Think I'm kidding?
When was the last time you stepped into a Woolworth's store? For some...never. for the rest of us, it's been since 1997 when the company folded, giving way to the pressure of the big box stores, I suspect.
If you've flown in the past, oh, 20 years, you never had a chance to fly Pan Am since the airline crashed in 1991. Even an attempt to revive it via a cheesy television show promising willing stewardesses last year didn't get off the ground.
Chances are we've all heard of the Palm Pilot though none of us currently own one. What was supposed to be the greatest all-inclusive device ever has been replaced by a dozen better and cheaper machines since its demise late in 2010.
Do you have the urge to show off your inestimable wealth by driving a vehicle that gets 8 miles per gallon? Too bad: Hummer went out of business in 2010. You might be able to get one somewhere but only as a bonus for buying $50 worth of groceries.
Despite fan fervor and a "Save the Surge" campaign by dedicated drinkers, this full-content drink from the Coca Cola company designed to one-up the hyper-caffeinated Mountain Dew failed to make it out of 2003, doomed, no doubt by the super-dooper monster drinks containing taurine that were designed to amp us up for 24 hours straight. Of course, Five-Hour Energy might be the next on the way out if actual deaths can be attributed to it as has been surmised.
Naturally, there are others: take Pontiac, for example...nobody else would...or Saturn...Many did but it was just too darn boring.
Zima drinkers have switched over to Skyy, the demographic has gotten even younger, and the Coors company has to come up with something else.
Taste is a fickle thing, it would appear; no doubt, changing tastes accounted for some of the lost treasures above, but then, there's no accounting for taste.
I ate poutine the other day for the first time. How aboot that?
No Twinkies, though. They were all gone.
So long, Kid!


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