All I Got Was A Sweater

"...by any other name..."



Valentine's Day has come and gone, but the stories of romance continue to flood the internet like another form of "Linsanity." Certainly, it is a holiday inspired by (and perhaps created by) the floral industry...or the candy industry...but it gives us a good chance to demonstrate our true feelings of warmth and/or love to those we care about (but make sure everyone in the class gets one!).
I have probably given flowers in the past, but now the gift is more practical. "Practical" does not, however, seem to reside in Portland, Oregon, a city known for its, well, eccentric population. I suppose when one lives in a place that has so much dreary, rainy weather, eccentricity is a natural quality. However, take eccentric and mix it with Valentine's Day, and you will find the police less than entertained.
Local law enforcement was notified via a 911 call that a man was driving aways with a bound, naked woman in the back of his Subaru on Valentine's Day in Portland. An alert bystander noticed the license plate and referred that information to the police who set up a dragnet, of sorts involving nine patrol cars and a host of officers. Having the home address of the lawbreaking automobile driver, the police finally cornered the would-be assailant at his home, of all places; and, indeed, there was a naked woman in the back with her mouth duct-taped shut.
Responding to various armed threats, the 31-year-old man explained to the gendarmes, "We were doing some Valentine's Day role playing," a fact that was reinforced by the 26-year-old woman, having been released from the tape and covered (I hope).
Not impressed, the couple was arrested and charged with 2nd degree disorderly conduct.
As the internet responses overwhelmingly began chiding law enforcement for disturbing a couple in the privacy of their own car, police responded by saying, "Why would officers think it was a Valentine's Day thing?" Why, indeed.
No word on whether the woman was also cited for failure to wear a seat belt.