Bob's One-stop Office Supply and Dental Practice

Right next to the file folders on Aisle 3


I'll admit that I was a bit stunned when our family doctor used Super Glue at one point to close up a minor cut. Of course, he used something LIKE Super Glue but just used the generic name so I would understand...right? Well, no...he actually used the over-the-counter brand name product. As he explained it, though, it made perfect sense: anybody who's ever glued fingers onto a broken coffee mug handle knows it works. Since minor injuries like a head cut heal from inside, the glue eventually gets sloughed off by the new, pink skin underneath.
Of course, for much bigger incision, staples have replaced the stitches of days gone by.
Orthodontists use rubber bands to keep braces snugly in place...or they used to.
As a result, no one should be surprised that paper clips might be the next office supply item to be rushed into service: and they were, by a dentist in Massachusetts by the name of Dr. Michael Clair. Unfortunately for him, paper clips were not a healthy substitute for the stainless steel (I hope) metal rods normally used when fixing a root canal...as his patients discovered who began to suffer infections and other unfortunate related maladies after being treated.
The ex-doctor is spending a year in the pokey for his little adventure which really amounted to trying to defraud the Medicaid system by charging it the expensive metal rod price and substituting a MUCH cheaper metal version via the humble paper clip. When confronted with problems, it seems the former dental dynamo resorted to assault, and witness intimidation as well.
Come to think of it, every time I GO to the dentist I feel intimidated the minute I walk in, and I feel assaulted when I leave...especially now that nobody seems to use nitrous oxide: God's gift to cowards.
I'm definitely checking the tray beside me more than once the next time.