The Sound of Screaming

My sweetie had a role in The Sound of Music in high school. While it wasn't playing Maria's character, I always pretend it was. Every year, the Julie Andrews version gets replayed on TV about a million times, and the air agian becomes alive with the sound of music. Most of the things mentioned in My Favorite Things are just too cutesy for me to stomach...and speaking of things hard to stomach, I have compiled a list of my top five LEAST favorite things, in order from not-too-terrible to I'd-rather-clean-the-bathroom-with-my-tongue:

5. Thinking about making a dentist appointment and working up the courage to make the call.
4.Sitting in the waiting room at the dentist's office watching people as terrified as I am and realizing that the real pain will only come later after the dentist is nowhere to be found.
3. Having the dental hygienist call me back to sit in a painfully uncomfortable position while jabbing me with various pointed objects before saying, "The doctor will have to look at this one" like my mouth has just sprouted a pustular growth the size of her hand.
2. Having a dentist (or oral-maxillary specialist) tell me that a tooth has to be taken out since it's fractured in so many places that it will probably splinter off and slice my jaw open (at least that's what I heard)and feeling the immediate panic and drenching sweat that sets in.
1. Having a gaping hole in my face where a tooth used to be as the medical practitioner takes his foot off my chest and laughs maniacally while holding the bloody remains of what used to be my tooth...knowing I probably won't live another 24 hours.

So, if you never hear from me again, I will have perished at the hands of the latest Orin Scrivello.
But I won't give up any secrets.