Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Sign of the Times...or Apocalyptic Hint?


...Or Maybe We'll Go With Inner Beauty

On The Simpsons tonight, Homer feels the Apocalypse upon Springfield and does his best to save everyone, not once but twice. Of course, the fact that I'm writing this should be ample evidence that it was only a television program (though 2012 has not yet passed). Homer mistook a blimp accident with Krusty the Clown and Kathy Griffin (among others) to be the warning of "stars falling from the sky" that was to preclude the Day of Judgement. Blood falling from the sky onto his windshield emanated from a harpooned whale being carried overhead out of his field of vision. Thus, I guessed all along that he was wrong. However, something else I noticed today might well be a sign of impending societal doom (though not covered anywhere in the Bible that I could find).
"My Beautiful Mommy" would seem, at the outset, to be a book for youngsters which helped them to understand the value of women in society as it displayed situations in which a mother was admired for her selfless work ethic, her tireless giving and her otherwise feminine pulchritude. That's what I guessed at first, given the times of welcoming and valuing the gifts of diversity. Uh, not so...like Homer, I was wrong.
This book by Michael Alexander Salzhauer is a primer for young children that guides them through the "exciting and stressful" time when Mom undergoes plastic surgery in order to become more beautiful (apparently, from a Hefner perspective).
"Using vivid illustrations and straightforward dialogue" the child and his or her mother can "Follow along as Mommy goes through her plastic surgery experience and learn how the entire family pitches in to help."
Seriously.
Weight reduction surgery I can understand...that eliminates a potential health risk; vision correction surgery I'm OK with because glasses and even contacts can be a real pain; I'm even onboard with breast reduction surgery because carrying that much weight topside has to be painful as well.
But this? I can't understand it. Let's just make a vivid point to our children that physical beauty is the most important thing for a woman to have, and that positive self-esteem can only be achieved for a woman if she tightens, lifts and augments her body artificially. That's not too shallow.
Of course, since I'm not actually female, maybe I've got the wrong take on this. I've had offers to straighten my teeth, color my graying hair and remove benign facial imperfections, and I've rejected all of them. Maybe it's me, or maybe it's a guy thing.
In case you're wondering, the book costs about $20 at Amazon.com, and the author is a plastic surgeon.
Go figure (not literally, ladies).

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