Still Plenty of Time

YOU COULD USE ONE OF THESE, COULDN'T YOU? I COULD!

While most people think the holiday gift-giving season begins, oh, say, the middle of July when Fleet Farm opens up its Toyland at 5 a.m that's really not it. The official start of the shopping season begins in early November...two weeks before my birthday. By the time December rolls around, all the really good stuff has been flying off the shelves for weeks in celebration of my nativity. However, I think this year might be a bit different. It seems like some of the manufacturers have been holding out for the last major push which starts on Black Friday.
Don't let them kid you: Black Friday is not a designation for the time when sales are so brisk that retailers emerge from the red ink into the black for the year...it's really for how dark the sky is when people start to stand in line and how dark their mood is when they find out that the fine print on the ad mentioned briefly that quantities of that must-have item were, in fact, limited to five. So, in order to prepare you for that onslaught...or maybe allow you to do some casual online shopping while still getting the needed shuteye, here are a few of the holiday gifts that have caught my eye. Of course, if you are feeling a bit red-faced for not getting me an actual gift for my birthday...well, let's just leave it at that.

Those of us who live seemingly north of the Arctic Circle will appreciate having a Cypher PS+ under the tree. This item is a heat vest that uses far-infrared fibers to redirect heat back into the body with pads conveniently placed over the kidneys. A rechargeable battery keeps the liquids flowing in even the coldest temperature. Of course, if you're wearing it at a football game and you take your shirt off, everyone will know you for the Sally that you are.

For the readers out there...the kindle is SO last year. Now we have the Nook from Barnes and Noble (I think). It not only has book capability, it is part of the 3G system and is WiFi enabled. Not only that, it has the capability for you to lend "books" to your friends (similarly equipped, I imagine) for up to 14 days! Wow! Now you can charge your friends for overdue books and short circuit the library. Of course, if you're like my friend Kathleen, you wouldn't be caught dead reading something that wasn't actually printed on paper, so...this might not be for you.

If you are a National Public Radio groupie (and, really, who isn't?) your world has just exploded. Now you can purchase (or request as a gift) an NPR radio. This beauty can get you "Morning Edition," "Car Talk" or "Classics By Request" in addition to Michael Feldman or any other program on one of 800 stations! REally. In addition, this radio will call in 16,000 internet radio stations so you will never, ever, ever miss one moment of the pledge drives. Absent for a while? It will also record and store a program for two weeks. But wait, There's MORE! It's also an alarm clock.

I was just about the buy what I thought was the latest iPod shuffle the other day since I was amazed at the $55 price tag. Now, I know why it had dropped to such a low price: Apple is introducing a 4GB stainless steel version of the iPod shuffle. Imagine running, biking, walking or doing virtually anything with 1,000 tracks at your disposal. Heck, you could probably hike the whole of the Appalachian Trail and never hear a song repeated. Gotta get one. Mine holds a measly 240 tracks. Outdated.

Finally, there's the Darth Vader robotic arm. How can you NOT want one of these babies? it is comprised of 45 separate pieces, and the recipient of this fine gift gets to put it together! "We have the technology. We CAN rebuild him!" I can hear myself now...breathing into one hand menacingly while choking someone who really deserves it with my robotic arm...and leaving NO FINGERPRINTS! This is an absolute must-have, as I'm sure you can see.
Just when I thought there was nothing else for me to want.
Health, happiness,more than enough food, shelter,and clothing? I have all that; but I do NOT have a robotic arm.
Maybe this comes under the category of "Be careful what you wish for..."