Not Too Late For The Rest of Us...

SNEEZE ALL YOU WANT...I'VE GOT PROTECTION
My friend Kate thinks that her family might have H1N1 flu. Notice that I've refrained from using the porcine nickname for it...because the USDA told me to. Apparently, it's given people second thoughts about consuming the "other white meat" so the USDA has leaped into the fray. But back to Kate and her family.
Kate appears to be an enormously conscientious mother who might eventually morph into one of those helicopter parents, but this is not unusual in a mother of two children under the age of four. Still, she's plucky enough to allow her older child to leap from chair to chair until sustaining a bump on the noggin, and STILL takes the child out in public where scrutiny can be of the "tsk, tsk" variety. Good for her! The flu disdains such pluckiness apparently, and it seems that the symtoms are too close for comfort, as they would be for any concerned parent. It's a pity she had not previously heard of Flu Armour, a New Jersey company set to arm the world against the horrid disease about to eclipse the plague as the world's most paranoia-inducing malady...and without rats.
In business since 2005 (knowing a good thing when it sees one!), the company sells protection from communicable diseases in the form of masks, goggles, etc. In what almost seems like a Popeil ad, I'm tempted to say, "But wait, there's more!" Here's the deal:
For a paltry $69, you can be fully, and I mean from head to toe fully, protected. You can order, for that price, 20 masks, 50 pairs of protective gloves, 1 set of industrial strength goggles, a tub of germicidal disinfectant, and a tub of antimicrobial hand wipes. For an extra $6.75, the trul desperate can get a white paper jumpsuit to ward off everything from germs to would-be conversationalists.
In all honesty, Flu Armour says that these measures are really designed for people who come into regular contact with specified germs...or, perhaps, extraterrestrial stuff. Overkill is better than being overdead, I say.
Ariel Kaminer of the New York Times decided to see exactly what savvy New Yorkers would say if she wandered about ehr daily tasks in such a getup. You can read her report if you follow the attached link.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/13/nyregion/13critic.html?_r=1&hpw

As for me, I hope Kate and her family get better soon...or better yet, are not really infected with H1N1. Imagine all the kids on the playground making oinking noises.
Lots of rest, drink fluids and try to keep that newborn and his somewhat older sister quiet, now!
I'm looking through the couch and my sweetie's handbag for loose change amounting to $69.