"Shhhhh! Be Vewy, Vewy Quiet!"

I find it totally unseemly that native animals deem it necessary to come around and ruin our perfectly good civilization! Those darned buffalo, for example, had the chutzpah to wander across railroad tracks when we were trying to civilize the untamed West! And who can forget the trouble the snail darter caused to the Tennessee Valley Authority when all we were trying to do was corral a little water...probably to green up a golf course somewhere. I won't even get into how those harp seals were cluttering up the ice floes up north! Now, it's those pesky wabbits (OK, by now, you've gotten the Elmer Fudd thing so I'll stop it). They hop around all cute and cuddly, then do their best to have a billion babies who eat the non-native plants that we've inserted in the earth for our pleasure. Those plants aren't cheap, and the local rabbits seem to think the plants comprise some sort of buffet line just for them. If you are plagued by such annoyances, here are a couple of tips:

1. You could get a pellet gun or a .22 and shoot them. The downside would be that you'd feel rather guilty for killing something so cute and cuddly, and there would be no Easter candy for you.

2. You could trap them and release them in someone else's yard. This, in fact, was the method I chose. In a paroxysm of romantic emotion, I bought my sweetie a rabbit trap for our anniversary, and we have managed to tear apart a rabbit community by relocating captured bunnies to various wildlife areas not in our neighborhood. Now, the rest have apparently gone to look for the lost kinfolk so our problem is solved. WE can get back to civilizing the yard now.

3. You can frighten them into staying away. This method was suggested by an outdoors-type worker at the condo where friends live. Today, I sneaked up on a very small rabbit, leaped out at it and shouted as loudly as possible. Its fur stood straight up as it bolted for cover (a truly hare-raising experience). I chased another at breakneck speed from tree to bush...we'll see tomorrow if there are rabbit corpses strewn about.

4. You can hose 'em down. Our friend Patty found this to be exceptionally effective as she delivered not one but two blasts from a garden hose (shooting, no doubt, a fire-hydrant-like blast of water). Now THAT worked, as the rascal lay totally inert the next day...no more scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head for B'rer Bunny. Of course, there was guilt involved with the slaughter, but if civilization is going to advance, a price must be paid.
Just ask the Taino Indian tribe who watched bemusedly as Columbus fell to his knees upon "discovering" a new world.
Or the native populations of the African continent when Europe discovered profitable natural resources.
But, hey, the rabbits will just continue to produce like, well, rabiits anyway.
Stew, anyone?