The Last Wedding of the Year

NOT Tony and Tina

It began with our son Blaine's wedding on the beach in Florida 'way back in June. Throughout that month and the succeeding ones, there were others as well: weddings of co-workers children, weddings of former students and a host of others. Not many of them, though, featured a stripper, an irascible photographer and a gay videographer NOT working in tandem,a drunken minister and general mayhem: groom/groomsmen to the women in the bridal party " Woof, woof, woof, who let the dogs out, woof, woof woof?" Women in the bridal party: "Who let the assholes out?" You get the general idea. Well, a lot of them had some kind of mayhem...after all, weddings never go as planned. Nothing, however, quite matched the most recent affair pairing Tony and Tina.
In fact, my wife kept asking when the professional entertainment was going to begin as we endured a couple of hours of pseudo professional singers, DJs and would-be nuns singing "Jesus is just alright with me."
Yes, it was the stage production of "Tony and Tina's Wedding," that event for which I had auditioned a month or so as either the father of the groom or the priest, being denied the pleasure of playing neither of them. (who said producers didn't know what they were doing?)
Following a brief wedding service, we were ushered into the hall (Shopko Hall, BTW)where the entertainment was about to begin, featuring the song stylings of Donnie Dell, the customary risque speeches and toasts, the requisite ex-boyfriend just back from rehab, and a cast of people who left me wondering if, in fact, Italian weddings were ALL like that! The soon-to-be nun was shaking her moneymaker all evening, and there were at least three altercations...some taking us to the brink of fisticuffs. During the melee that followed (I don't know how else to describe it!) we danced to The Village People and Buster Poindexter, sang along with Frank Sinatra, and had something from the "Buffet of Love" which was adequate but not great.
We shared our table with 8 strangers, and they all seemed to get into the spirit of things, and a pretty good time was had by all...closing the evening with a dance with Grandma. That is typical of how bizarre the evening was, but, all in all, a fine capper to the wedding season.
I give Tony and Tina six months...their families even less.