Their Noses Knows

First of all, let's get something straight: if diamonds are a girl's best friend, how come men only get dogs as "best friends"? I think we're getting hosed here, and I think it's time someone of the male persuasion spoke up...so there...I've spoken up. I say to all you guys "Let's rise up and demand something better than a dog as our best friend...somebody like the pizza delivery guy or a local bartender or...well, you get the idea. Dogs are ok, but best buds? Nah. However, dogs can be very useful. In addition to fetching frisbees (sometimes), we've been able to train them to perform many utilitarian functions.
Dogs can be trained to bark at anything that moves, ensuring that they will be effective as watch dogs and nuisances. And the things dogs can sniff out! (other than each other and every crotch available): dogs find drugs and bombs and bodies much better than those bees we read so much about. Now, I find they can also sniff out DVD recordings!
It's true...at least in Malaysia. Seems there's a big market in bootleg DVDs from Kuala Lumpur, and night vision goggles just weren't doing the best job possible catching thieves in theaters. Imagine yourself as an usher in a theater there...the movie starts, and you slip on your night vision goggles to spot someone with a hand-held video camera or a phone camera copying an entire movie for surreptitious sale. The ushers have caught 17 people in the last 2 months doing just that! But it was not enough for the Motion Picture Association which, of course, stood to lose gajillions of dollars more than they paid out to some hack actors to make the movies. So, the MPA trained and delivered two Labradors (named Lucky and Flo) whose job it was to actually sniff out bootleg DVDs. What made them smell different than regular copyrighted ones? I dunno, but then, I wasn't doing the sniffing, and Flo and Lucky aren't saying. These best friends of man have sniffed out more than one million fake DVDs and broken up at least two pirate rings for bootleg films. Of course, fame has its price: Malaysian pirates have placed a bounty on their heads...literally. Imagine how Lucky and Flo are going to feel when they discover that THEY are man's best friends but the converse definitely does not apply!
Bow wow, indeed!