Slow? You Bet!

There are times during the year when it seems that no matter how much I wish it were not so, time slows to an absolute crawl. While vacation time seems to zoom by at mach 9, other times feature a maple-syrup-in-February texture during which actual time ceases to exist. Remember "Groundhog Day" that movie in which Bill Murray lives the same day over and over? I've got that feeling. I noticed some things today which make me wonder...is Superman flying backwards around the world in an attempt to slow or even stop time? I saw him do that once in a movie. Anyhow, here are some signs that time has slowed to a snail's pace.

1. I actually read all the bulletins on my My Space site. Perhaps this just means I never check it, but perhaps it means I am really looking for something to do.

2. I read Sunday's paper...on Tuesday. Actually, I missed the comics since our faithful delivery person whiffed on leaving the paper this week. Going an entire week without "Get Fuzzy" would have been unbearable. Sure, I could look it up online, but that would be work! I was willing to let it go, but my wife wanted the TV section...maybe SHE needs some stimulation, too! Turns out she needed the listing for "Dog: Bounty Hunter." Now THAT'S a sign of slow!

3. I finally completed a sudoku puzzle. Man, I HATE those things because they make me feel stupid...but here I was...working on one (and peeking at the answers). No telling if that's going to keep my brain going as I enter senility, but if it's good enough for AARP, it's good enough for me.

4. I wished I had homework to do, if for no other reason than I could put it off. With the new semester rapidly approaching, this will change in a hurry.

5. I practiced shovelling just in case we get some actual snow this year. Mostly, this involves spraying cooking oil on the shovel so that the snow will glide off smoothly and not give me a hernia when I try to lift it the next time. I coated the snowblower, too, but when I turned it on, the garage smelled like somebody was baking brownies, though that could also be remnants of yesterday's burritos.

6. I actually wrote a letter using real paper and a pen. How do those stamp things work again? Mother B...only for you would I do this.

7. I charged my iPod and my camera battery and my flashlight and my electric toothbrush and my cordless shaver and Christopher Moore's new book: You Suck--A Love Story It's actually a sequel to Blood-Sucking Fiends: A Love Story. (check it out!)

All in all, it was a slow evening. Even the news that the Texas Rangers were thinking of signing Sammy Sosa to a minor league contract was not enough to energize me (Though I hear that the cork industry is excited). I couldn't quite bring myself to watch "Dog" which has attained cult status I hear. I missed the early Simpsons' episode because I was taking a nap, and I'll miss the late "South Park" because I'm going to bed. Maybe tomorrow the pace will pick up.