The Best of Times? The Wurst of Times!

Chorizo and Friends
As Popeye used to say, "I've stood all I can stand; I can't stands no more!" His pipe would twirl around, the spinach can erupted, and the baddies were history. I'm just about that angry right now.
The Milwaukee Brewers, famous for the sausage races at ballgames, just can't cut the mustard anymore. With the possible exception of July 9, 2003, when Randall Simon of the Pittsburgh Pirates battered the Italian sausage with a bat, which caused a collision with the hot dog and complicated race results, the sausage races at County Stadium/Miller Park have been a huge hit (so to speak). While Simon was arrested, booked and hit with a $432 fine, bookies in Milwaukee have been cautious. Money has been wagered, brats, Polish as well as Italian sausages and the ever-popular hot dog have been bartered over the outcome. The fans wanted more, however; baseball has gone international, and many felt that the Brewers should get off their buns and do something to reflect that trend. At this point, the Brewers introduced the chorizo sausage into the race to see if it could catch up to the others in a warning track derby. Fans loved the idea of a spicy, Spanish sausage rounding out the field (or the warning track, anyway). After one race, chorizo #5 in the picture above was a hit...but then...it was abruptly sent back to the minors, not to return again this year. A press release indicated that the sausage was sent down because it "needed more seasoning in the minors" but I suspect skullduggery. News reporters grilled the four remaining sausages but got only some shifty-eyed, meaningless responses. Much "Ahem"ing was noted and, despite dogged questioning by the press, nothing came forth. This bears closer scrutiny. I do not relish watching the rest of the season without that fifth race entry. The Brewers are not going to make the wild card or win the division. I think sending chorizo down was a bad move, just like trading Carlos Lee, who, unlike chorizo, will not return next year. Frankly, I think we need a special prosecutor for this one.