Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Rustlin' Up Votes For Kinky

Kinky Friedman
This is seriously irritating. How come I feel like I'm always the last one to know about important stuff? Sure, I live in the Midwest, but I read the Times and the Post every day, I catch CNN when I can so I don't miss the return of Elvis or any other important, relevant news. So how is it that a person can write 23 books with titles like "God Bless John Wayne," "Meanwhile Back At the Ranch," "'Scuse Me While I Whip This Out," and his most recent from 2005 "Texas Hold 'Em" and I DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT? Impossible. Couple that with the fact that this person has recorded ten albums of what might best be described as country rock with titles like "Under the Double Ego," "Lasso From El Paso," "Mayhem Aforethought," and his most recent from 2005 "They Don't Make Jews Like Jesus Anymore," and you can see why I'm mystified not to have heard of Kinky Friedman. This stuff is right up my alley, down my sidewalk and promenading into my living room. Makes me feel like I've been do-si-don'ting the past fifteen years.
How do I hear about Kinky? Reading the political news: see, he's running to be the next governor of Texas. Think that's odd? Let me remind you: Ronald Reagan, Arnold the Governator and Jesse "The Body" Ventura. This is crafty, it's not crazy. Kinky is on the ballot in Texas against, by all accounts, two more-vanilla-than-not opponents. One tried to get "Grandma" as part of her name on the ballot but failed. Kinky (given to him as a kid because of his hair texture) has a real name, of course, but he's used this one so long it was allowed on the ballot. When asked how he was able to get over 169,000 people to sign a petition so he could be on the ballot, Kinky replied, "Thank God for bars and dance halls." In lighter moments, of which I gather there are many, Kinky says a main goal of his campaign is the "dewussification of Texas." With bumper stickers espousing such catchy phrases as "How Hard Could It Be?" "Why The Hell Not?" and "He Ain't Kinky, He's My Governor" he has raised a lot of cash and probably more than a few of the establishment hackles. Good for him. Kinky feels that musicians would be better than politicians: "We're not much good in the morning, but we'll work late and we're honest."
Kinky says he wants Texas to be number one in something besides "executions, toll roads and property taxes." He also plans to boost teachers so that Texas doen't continue to have the distinction of having the highest high school dropout rate in the country. Gotta love him.
He has theories about the serious issues,too, though. His "Five Mexican Generals" plan to stem the tide of illegal immigration is pure genius, in my opinion. He states emphatically that he's not anti-death penalty, but he is "anti-the-wrong-guy-getting-executed."
I have read three of his books in the last two days, and his style is Raymond Chandler meets Spenser, P.I. I plan to read all 23 of them and find some recordings as well.
Meanwhile, you,too, can help support Kinky's campaign against politicos: kinkyfriedman.com will show you how, as well as how to get some pretty cool stuff.
I may move to Texas just so I can vote for him in the fall.

1 Comments:

At 3:52 AM, Blogger TheLongHaul said...

It seems you have been tagged by this viral campaign against Kinky Friedman. This guy goes around and copy and pastes the same articles over and over as responses to articles he doesn't even read that mention Kinky Friedman. He regularly uses quotes out of context as you can verify for yourself. I think I'm going to start following him around, and exposing him.

About your article, I am glad to read you have been introduced to Kinky Friedman. I found myself researching him about a year ago when I found out he was going to run for Texas Governor. This man is very intelligent and creative. I have about 23 articles about him on my blog if you're interested. Take care.

 

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