Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Fashion Faux Pas? or Not?

Admittedly, taking fashion advice from someone like me is best done by people who traditionally don't know Armani from JC Penney when it comes to what to wear for whatever season one happens to be experiencing. If it's cold, get a sweatshirt; if it's hot, take it off. That's my fashion philosophy in a nutshell. White after Labor Day (or is it Memorial Day) ? I have no idea why or why not. I seldom wear white anyway because I'm always spilling food on myself. Even a stain is preferable to a big wet spot where I tried to blot out any discoloration.
Fortunately, though, there are folks who actually follow fashion trends and can simplify them for us. In fact, a recent article on the BBC News network listed 10 fashion "laws" and indicated (for people like me) whether or not they were actual laws and not merely recommendations. Most of them appear to be pointed at women's fashion, but who knows? I certainly don't.

1. Never mix denim with denim: blue jeans are OK, but a denim work shirt is definitely NOT OK. Mixing different washes of denim appears to be on the fringe of acceptable, however.

2. White socks are a decided no-no for men since it makes it appear that one is heading to a workout of some kind. Me? I always wear athletic shoes so white socks are part of my ensemble...though I do tend to branch out occasionally.

3. legs or cleavage, but NOT both! Apparently, men can only focus on one part of the female form at a time so don't distract them by having an excess of skin in more than one place.

4. There is little evidence that vertical stripes are slimming. What HAS been decided, however, is that stripes across "curvy" areas are positive accents. (I'm presuming the stripes are horizontal in nature).

5. Men's ties should extend at least to the last button on the shirt but no farther than the lower part of a belt. I was gratified to see that I was already following this one...three times a year when I actually wear a shirt that will accommodate a tie.

6. Never mix patterns is a tried and true fashion law...proven to be ridiculous! Apparently, fashion has gone to the crazy stylists now, and mixing blocks and stripes is acceptable. It seems to me that such patterns would distract me from looking at the excess skin, though.

7. It was felt that men piercing the right ear indicated gayness...straight men prefer the left ear. over 50 should  under NO circumstances have an earring...a sports car, though, is a different matter.

8. Matching shoes and bags or shoes and belts was long considered prohibited by fashionistas. Now, it seems, it's acceptable...particularly given the wild colors and patterns of handbags these days.

9. Just as I bought a pari of shoes that featured blue and green, I remembered that one is not "supposed" to mix those colors. Fortunately, this is another "law" that has been overturned. Shades of red and pink as well as other colors close to each other on the spectrum, can be mixed without fear of recrimination at this point in fashion history. Whew!

10. The prohibition against mixing gold and silver jewelry (NOT jewlery) stands. Since the only gold I own is either in my mouth or in my wedding ring, I'm safe.

There you have it: all you need to know about dressing to the nines. As soon as TJ Maxx gets on board, I'll be set.


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