Vacation Guide...Fast Food Version

Eating Across America



I've often been accused of being a "foodie" because I seem to discuss food frequently. Usually, it's about bacon, and this time of year there always seems to be something interesting a'brewing in some minor league ballpark that would draw me like "flies to a hog-killing" (just to get a bacon reference in there). Now, however, courtesy of the Orlando Sentinel, comes a list of the large cities across this porkbelly (no, NOT legislators...although...) nation noted for a preponderance of fast-food opportunities. And I'm ready for a road trip!
The poll, though obviously not scientific, judged cities by the percentage of fast-food restaurants per 100,000 residents and came up with the following list in order from MOST gluttonous, artery-and-waistline-clogging opportunities to least:

1. Orlando (say, was this sponsored by the Chamber of commerce by any chance?) which provided 463 franchises such as McDonald's, Burger King, KFC, and Subway...that means 196.3 such acid-and-fat inducing places for every 100,000 people, roughly one for every 550 people. The Magic Kingdom probably sports a third of those,too, and it gets a LOT more than 500 people per day.

2. Louisville ranked as number two, surprising since I never associated it with anything but Paul Hornung, horses and baseball bats. Maybe now we know where horses go after their studly days are done! Since I have never visited "Loo-uh-ville," I probably have no right to denigrate their food. So, I won't.

3. Richmond, Virginia follows in third place.

4. Miami is next, and I can't claim to know anything about it since I ate at Cuban restaurants when I was there. I mean, I can get the rest of it here in Green Bay.

5. Las Vegas. Really? People eat in Vegas at other places besides the buffet at The Mandalay? Puhhleeeeze! When there are three distinct rooms, each with its own type of food, what's not to like? How could one possibly eat anywhere else? Oh yes, I did get a Krispy Kreme doughnut, warmed with ice cream, strawberries and drizzled with chocolate at the ESPNZone, so even I strayed from the buffet.

6. Tampa, Florida. Do they have conch there? If so, I guarantee I would not eat fast food. Ever.

7. Baton Rouge, Louisiana. With so much ethnic food in this area, I cannot imagine eating fast food, but then, how appetizing does alligator tail soup sound? If there are hush puppies, I'm in.

8. Cincinnati, Ohio. Midwestern cities all seem to have one specialty, whether it's pasties, pirogies, brats, funnel cakes or chili. I claim ignorance on the favorite fare in this place. Someone needs to enlighten me since my chances of venturing there are slim.

9. Spokane, Washington. I can see that. With so many people affected by a) SAD and b) the fact that they don't live in Seattle, comfort food must be the first refuge.

ROAD TRIP! Find the closes large city on this list and PIG OUT!