Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Monday, February 07, 2011

"Mantown" Isn't MY Town

Perhaps it's just all the testosterone released by wall-to-wall, non-stop, three-week coverage of professional football here in Titletown. Perhaps it's because people have been cooped up too long in the igloo of the upper Midwest. Whatever it is, there HAS to be a better reason than the one I'm envisioning for such shenanigans.
I'm referring to an ad I saw in this past weekend's paper for something called "Mantown," at the local arena. Billed as "An interactive day for all things man," the extravaganza set for this Friday night encompasses seven solid hours of manly activities...and I can't think of a place I'd rather not be. Maybe it's the sleazy stereotype of manliness that irritates me: men are violent sex-crazed gamblers and boozers. Really? In public? (while admitting that "maybe" in private...)
Anyway, here's what we men can get this Friday evening for $7.00:
1. The chance to meet two (count 'em) TWO Playboy bunnies: Misses January and February of 2010.
2. Ogle even MORE scantily-clad beauties at a lingerie fashion show!
Seriously, isn't this like going to the Tesla showroom knowing the dealer KNOWS you cannot afford it?

3. Have the opportunity for some manly fun at blackjack, poker and craps tables. Problem? I don't have a problem...this isn't REAL money.

4. Get up close and personal to a REAL MMA cage fight! (before trying to explain to your sweetie what you've been up to and getting in a REAL cage match!)

5. Slosh some suds at the Bud Light bar with happy hour drink specials (perfect for that drive home at closing!)

6. Work on the gun skills at the air-soft gun shooting range (guns and alcohol: a perfect mix)

7. Shake your groove thing (with other men) to the live music.

The affair is sponsored by any number of establishments throughout the area, and one even cordially invites us men to that establishment for MORE scantily-clad ladies and awesome drink specials!
Really...I hope this doesn't mean that my concept of "manly" hasn't been askew all these years.
I'll be home watching a movie on the couch: it's date night.
No lingerie, though.


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