The End Really IS Near

As I've gotten older, I've watched less and less of the standard television fare. When MTV stopped playing music videos and began insipid programming that led to Jersey Shore and catapulted Bristol Palin into the national spotlight so she could show us her dance moves on network TV, the avalanche of crap began and continued to accelerate.
The Osbornes was interesting for five minutes, but it certainly did not have the staying power of a Leave It To Beaver or Gunsmoke.
And now, it's come to this: reality television for the truly insecure. Bridalplasty is about to be foisted upon us in two weeks.
Imagine a reality show in which twelve brides-to-be compete every week for a selected surgical procedure to enhance their body and self-image in some way! Really.
Billing itself as the "only television show where the winner gets cut," Bridalplasty is bound to be a hit. Ratings will soar as women vie at challenges like picking out the perfect wedding dress or solving relationship problems in order to win their choice of procedures like veneers (for teeth, maybe? I dunno otherwise), botox injections, various tucks and, of course, breast augmentation. It's the perfect show for the insecure who think that medical science could actually give them a personality! And the grand prize? A dream wedding AND ALL THE SURGICAL PROCEDURES ON HER PREDETERMINED LIST! That's as insipid as the former star of The Girls Next Door appearing on a Playboy cover in the coming months and claiming that the photos were taken a couple of years ago because she promised her new husband (after dumping Hef) that she wouldn't get nekkid no more!
Seriously, my head hurts. Fortunately, I have a stellar alternative.
Books.