The Next Big Thing

NOT my profile picture on Facebook

Normally, you might say that I'm behind the curve...on a lot of things. Heck, I just got rid of my rotary phone for one that has buttons where the numbers are located! My shirts still have huge collars and/or epaulets, and I think polyester is the fabric that's going to remake the world of fashion. But this, time...this time I'm on the cusp of the next hot trend in men's fashion, at least that's according to Nickelson Wooster, the fashion director for Neiman Marcus. he assures me that I'm getting in on the ground floor with personalities like Jimmy Kimmel, Rob Lowe and Steve Carell.
By now, of course, you are rapt with attention, wondering a) what this thing is and b) how come I suddenly know so much about men's fashion. That"thing" is produced by Spanx as well as Equmen and Sculprters and can be found at Bloomingdale's, Saks 5th Avenue and Nordstrom as well as the aforementioned Neiman-Marcus (so you just KNOW this is swanky!). The next big thing is, at its core, "the equivalent of a pushup bra for men."
Yes, the male fashion world is going ga-ga, ladies over shapewear...seriously!This product is "...about problem-solveing and another way of feeling secure and prepared for life." Really? I thought that only applied to Just For Men! But this kind of faux confidence does not come cheap: Equmen's tank top retails for $89 while it's T-Shirt model goes for $109. dollars!
Spanx brand is cheap in comparison since the tank costs a mere $55 and the T-shirt can be had for $58. Cheap confidence, I say...and you can be right on the leading edge, though there iIS one caveat, according to an anonymous Tweet: "yougasin 45 pounds when you get naked." Thus, like the "gay deceivers women tend to use, it all comes out (so to speak) as the lights go down. Be warned!
BTW...if you;re too self-conscious to be seen fingering this stuff at the department store, you can go to freshpair. com and order online. Presumably, the shapewear will come wrapped innocuously in brown paper.