An "Aha!" Moment

I'm moving to the guest room. For years I have wondered why people continued to tell me that I was "a bit slow," especially in the mornings. Now I know why: I AM a bit slow, and it's not my fault. I have Professor Gerhard Kloesch to thank for this new knowledge, too.
In a study published recently in "New Scientist," Kloesch reveals that men experience a lack of mental ability when they sleep with someone else instead of alone!. Not only that, but the results of his research showed that men who co-sleep had increased levels of stress hormones, whether or not sexual activity was involved! I've been waking up all stressed and ignorant for years!
The study involved eight unmarried, childless couples who slept ten nights together and ten nights apart. In each case, the participants were tested upon awakening both by questionnaire and cognitive tests. While both sexes experienced some disturbed sleep, it affected men far more than it did the women in the study. While both sexes claim to have "slept well" when together, men fared far worse in the post-sleep testing situations than did the women, who also displayed less evidence of stress hormones than the men in the study.
According to Dr. Neil Stanley of the University of Surrey (maybe with a fringe on top), "Sharing the bed space with someone who is making noises and who you have to fight for with the duvet is not sensible." So there.
Oh, I can hear your objections now:
what about married people, or married people with children? What about the miniscule size of the control group, or the fact that nobody had children (a sure-fire way to get a more disturbed night's "sleep")? All valid queries, I'll admit. If I were a scientist, I would demand another,larger sample take part in the same experiment for validity's sake.
However, I think it's clear that this is the reason that I'm not a morning person, though I cannot claim that there are noises or struggles for the duvet...I'm sleeping, after all.