Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Major League Cojones

I don't figure Mark Sanford is Jewish. Politicians in the South from both major parties are generally of some kind of Christian persuasion, and they really like to emphasize that fact...particularly in the South. You know, the region that gave us segregation, promoted anti-Semitism and a whole raft of other not-so-nice effronteries to the religious beliefs they so adamantly (not to be confused with Adam Ant of the 80s music scene)spout. That being noted, the term "chutzpah" certainly comes to mind when dealing with last week's news...and it IS last week's news already...overshadowed by the recent deaths of Farah Fawcett of the million-selling poster and Michael Jackson of the billion-selling music bidness.
Anyway, politicians and affairs (not including the affairs of state), like ordinary people and such trysts, really aren't that newsworthy, though as a head of the State of South Carolina, it would have been handy to be in touch with someone other than the mysterious lady in question. But, as I said, this is not the story. The real story, it occurs to me, is the amount of unmitigated GALL this guy possesses. I think I'm actually a bit jealous of his attitude of "So what? I'm the governor." Here's what I mean.
He was able to convince the state Commerce Department to adjust a foreign trade discussion, originally scheduled for only Brazil, to include Argentina. Seriously, I may be in the dark here on foreign trade, but what could Argentina have that they need in South Carolina that isn't already coming from China? Was it, "Hey, I'm in South America anyway, why not just see what they have to say to me in...uh...Argentina?" That's ballsy move number one.
Number two involves something I cannot even comprehend. According to his wife who discovered the affair early in the year by finding a paper copy of an email in his filing system (seriously, how dumb IS this guy?), Sanford ASKED HER PERMISSION TO GO VISIT HIS MISTRESS! Are you kidding me? And she didn't smite him mightily for it?That has to be the single most audacious thing EVER! Your partner catches you in an affair, you admit it, then ask for permission to go see the new squeeze? Not on my life would I do that!(primarily because it would be my last living, breathing act)
However, the most amazing (to me, anyway) display of arrogance was Sanford's use of a Biblical reference when asked if he was going to resign as governor. He referred to the passage in which David seduces Bathsheba while her husband is off fighting for Israel, finds out that she is pregnant and tries to get Uriah (her hubby) to go home to sleep with his wife so the baby will appear legitimate. When Uriah refuses because his troops are fighting and he feels that he should not be comfortable while they struggle, King David tells Uriah's commander to attack the enemy with Uriah in front, then withdraw, leaving Uriah in a heap of trouble. Of course, Uriah gets killed, David marries Bathsheba, and the baby seems legit. Sanford noted that David was able to resume a successful political career even after committing the lustful sin. Of course, Sanford, like so many other Bible thumpers, didn't mention the next part about the prophet Nathan pointing out that David would be punished threefold by the Lord: the child would die (it did), David's kingdom would be at war for the length of his reign (it was) and his wives would be carried into captivity (they were).
Still, all in all, Mark Sanford gets my vote for the guy with the biggest pair so far this year.
His sniveling apology was fooling nobody.
We're all just jealous because we couldn't pull any one of the trifecta off, and he almost got all of them.
Cojones.
Big League style.

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