Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Pigs In A...Cocoa Bean




JOE TAKIN' BACON AND PROCLAIMING IT "PORKALICIOUS"



I sometimes watch the Food Channel when it features places with gastonomical dynamite: thee-pound burgers and diners where the waiters throw rolls at the customers. We definitely have a fascination with food in this country...of course, there's a fascination with food in sub-Saharan Africa, too, but if girth is any measure (and it is), we take the cake (and pie and dinner rolls) when it comes to gut-busting binging. But every now and then, a recipe comes to light that piques my curiosity just enough that I give it a try. Mostly, the result is less than fulfilling, but the latest one tops them all for rubbing-my-stomach goodness. Yes, I'm talking about chocolate-covered bacon.
I was all set yesterday to try it but then discovered that we didn't have parchment paper, a necessary item somehow. Normally, this grease-proof lining is used to preclude greasing the bottom of cookie sheets so cookies don't stick to the pan. I was relatively certain that the bacon wasn't going to stick to the pan, but recipes are recipes. I asked several neighbors if they had any, but they did not though one was headed to the store so she picked some up with the assurance that she and her 4-year-old would get to sample the result.
Waiting for Joe to get home from preschool, I managed to coat a pound of bacon, several grapes, some Oreos, a few chips and two chunks of Jalapeno cheese with chocolate. Having some goo left after all that, I put peanut butter on some crackers and spreadd them with the brown stuff as well (as well as the stove, the counter, and my shirt and socks...don't ask). Licking the spoon or pan was not viable since I'm really not that much of a chocolate fan. Seriously. I could take it or leave it, but on bacon? I just had to try it.
Preschool let out by four, and Joe was on the stoop by 4:15 asking for his sample. His mom came along just to make certain I wasn't doing the "Hansel and Gretel" thing with her younger son (who wanders over here in search of candy frequently, always taking additional swag "for my brother." I had not tried the result, preferring to have Joe drop over if the combination was combustible or caused some molecular shift in the ingredients bringing on the swine flu...I mean H1N1.
However, Joe pronounced it "good" and rubbed his stomach for emphasis. Mom chewed thoughtfully and proclaimed that it was "strangely...good!" By that time, there was a queue of people awaiting the result. No fewer than five other people, including a Packers' scout, an elementary principal, my daughter and her boyfriend and even my sweetie nodded in approval as they munched on morsels. "This is really bad for you, though," my sweetie tut-tutted, always the mother-type person. Yes, it is, but since nobody got more than two pieces, I think we'll survive...for now.
My neighbor even deemed the concoction worthy of a gift for her dad on Father's Day. She must figure prominently in the will. Anyway, you can bet there'll be bacon abounding in our neighborhood soon.
BTW: the cheese chunks were quite tasty!

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