Habaneros Are For Sissies

CHILLI TODAY? HOT TAMALE!

Hailing as I do from somewhere far south of here, spicy chillis are not unfamiliar to me. Though my mother never really used them much, I got into the habit of eating them during my road crew work days when we would stop at a local pub (well...juke joint, actually. I doubt Kansas HAD "pubs" in those days!) to finish our days with an hour or so of eating jalapenos and drinking beer...which, surprisingly, tasted like soda pop after the peppers.
Anyway, I introduced them to my sweetie when I started making cornbread with chillis in it, and she gradually became accustomed to the tase; however, when our Cambodian daughter-in-law began to cook for us, we found out what hot and spicy REALLY was. The Cambodian/Thai peppers were seriously eye-watering,destroyers-of-all-four- regions-of taste-in-the-mouth searing hot. She moderated it a bit for us, but we've gotten to enjoy the zip in her cooking. Now it turns out that we were not even anywhere NEAR the top of the Scoville Unit Scale for sizzle!
William Scoville decided in 1912 that there needed to be an arbitrary means of gauging degree of spiciness in foods like chillis so he invented the Scoville Scale which measures the amount of capasaicinoids in peppers. The higher the number, the higher the concentration of what makes these babies smoke. Your basic green chilli pepper tops the Scoville Scale at around 1500 units. Jalapenos barely register in the top tier of peppers; the Asian peppers we've become somewhat accustomed to rate between 50,000 and 100,000 units on the scale...yeah, I know: it sounds like a LOT to me, too. But wait...there's more! Habaneros add some serious kick to the pepper game since they average around 500,000 Scoville Units. It makes my nose run just thinking about it. And it turns out that habanero lovers are wthe weak sisters when it comes to REALLY hot peppers. Just ask Anadita Dutta Tamully, a 26-yera-old woman from somewhere in India: she just set a new Guiness World Record for consuming hot chillis; but it's not so much the record (since the previous record holder averaged a mere 8 jalapenos per minute)...it was they type of chilli AND the finale that left everyone gasping for air.
This woman gobbled 51 of the hottest peppers known to mankind: the so-called "ghost chillis" in two minutes to literally swallow the old recod up. "How hot are these peppers," you ask? To ape Don Adams (the original Maxwell Smart), would you believe these peppers are rated at a MILLION Scoville Units? Tamully apologized for letting the crowd down since she had ingested 60 peppers at an earlier local contest. BUT, THAT'S NOT ALL! To top her performance, this woman actually rubbed hot prpper seeds ON HER EYES!!!! not once, but several times to the stunnedjaw-drops of the crowd! I am not kidding...I saw the video. You can, too, if you follow the link provided.

This is not Kobyashi and Nathan's dogs: this is some serious stomach-riddling stuff here. And just imagine what it might feel like when those peppers emerge from the colon! I just keep seeing the image of Cartman on South Park in the episode where he cannot stop releasing methane into the atmosphere...I'm now wiping my eyes from laughing so much instead of chilli peppers.
I wonder if the lining of the, uh, orifice gets, like calloused or something from eating and eventually expelling that stuff.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7993925.stm