Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Avast, Ye Lubbers-Hey, Quit That!

I will be the first to admit that I'm not comfortable with guns. We hunted squirrels rabbits with a .22 when I was a kid for food (tastes like chicken), and laser tag was fun when the kids were little. Grandkids get a charge out of the marshmallow shooter, and I've experienced paintball conflict with the men's basketball team at UWGB...but real guns, with real bullets? Not so much. Hunting in Wisconsin is right up there (and mostly concurrent with) beer drinking and the Packers as sponsored activities, but even the thought of venturing into the woods with trigger-happy folks is enough to keep me ensconced in the man cave during hunting season. Obviously, though, I'm one of the few who eschew armed confrontation.
Given the veritable plethora of armed conflicts throughout the world involving governments and rebels and collateral damage, etc. the skirmishes with pirates off the Somali coast seemed almost secondary, especially since their economic plight is well-known. Three things brought it back to my atention:

1. South Park had an episode featuring piracy in Africa. Cartman as a pirate captain? I just happened to see it the other night though I am uncertain how new the episode was since I usually work on Wednesday nights when the new episodes first air.

2. The Discovery Channel had a program about a "weapon" currently used by at least one ship to foil would-be buccaneers: this device emits an ear-shattering noise which drops would-be attackers in their tracks. Actual footage of the thing in action was shown, and the pirates at first tried to shoot the device and/or its operator before falling to their knees and scuttling off without making a serious attempt. Imagine if they'd brought a dog along!

3. Finally, something happened which involved an Italian cruise ship this weekend which made me wonder why it had not happened previously: the ship had a security force which opened fire on pirates attempting to take over...the pirates left in a hurry.
Seriously, if I had a multi-million (or billion) dollar vessel, cargo and/or passengers likely to be held for months in lieu of several million dollars in ransom, I would have hired a security force a LONG time ago. It can't cost millions to hire guys to stand at the rail with automatic weapons and RPGs waiting for guys in small boats to drive up. I would think it would cut down on insurance premiums as well! How hard could it be? Put some holes in a small boat, it begins to sink, then we capture the pirates and hold THEM for ransom!
Why hasn't anyone thought of this?
Even peace-loving, non-confrontational guys like me get fed up every now and then.

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