Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Monday, January 19, 2009

A Conspiracy Theory & Other Madcap Happenings


THIS PRETTY MUCH SAYS IT ALL


Virtue without temptation is really no virtue at all. If one is not challenged by the joy of evildoing, he or she will be falsely righteous: at least that's my contention. Only by overcoming strong desire to do evil can one be truly virtuous. Not that it's germaine, but Krispy Kreme is no longer located in Green Bay...replaced ultimately by a Panera Bread establishment which is not the hedonistic pleasure of a wings party for ten of my closest friends at Hooter's (I could only find seven), but it's also not the gluttonous 250cal/doughnut place I used to go for my birthday, either. Tasty and healthful, but no real temptation to one of the Seven Deadly Sins...solid, All-American, family and date night food. Thus, my point (did you doubt that there would be one?) is that it will be impossible for me tomorrow to give into temptation and take a stand for abortions in this country...according to the American Life League's president Judie Brown. OK, OK, an explanation might clarify things just a bit.
See, Krispy Kreme Doughnuts is offering a free doughnut to every oerson in America tomorrow to celebrate the inaguration (and generate revenue...who can eat just one?). So far, so good. In the promotion, KK indicates that it will give a "free doughnut of choice to every customer on this historic day." So? Well, Ms. Brown, speaking for her organization, had this to say, The unfortunate reality of a post Roe v. Wade America is that 'choice' is synonymous with abortion access and celebration of 'freedom of choice' is a tacit endorsement of abortion rights on demand. The next time you stare down a conveyor belt of slow-moving, hot, sugary glazed donuts at your local Krispy Kreme you just might be supporting President-elect Barack Obama's radical support for abortion on demand."
Hoo boy! In case you want to avoid this controversy, Dunkin Donuts is premiering a special item for the day as well: "Stars and Stripes" for 89 cents. Since we have neither of those in Green Bay, I'll probably head over to Hooters for some wings.

If that's not wierd enough for you, how about some previously tasted sushi? You've no doubt heard about the ravenous desire for raw tuna worldwide creating a buying frenzy for freshly caught fish (no, this is not about killing dolphins. That's a whole other post). The most famous trading market for tuna is the Tsukiji Market in Tokyo where individual fish will sell for upwards of $10,000.00 Seriously! It appears that this is a HUGE tourist venue as well: watching auctioneers spout unintelligible words in Japanese apparently brings'em in droves. The market was closed to tourists for a week after a group of men decided to lick the raw fish as the tuna lay on the docket. Imagine, licking a fish worth 10 grand! Shocked and outraged by such incivility, the Japanese closed the market to tourists. I'm glad I didn't go all the way to Tokyo (and fight my way through my least favorite airport) just to be turned away at the fish market. One analyst remarked that it would be like going to the U.S. and not being able to see the Statue of Liberty (which was closed for repair a lot of last year!).
And, as if that's not enough to send you off muttering and shaking your head, be reminded not to anger Kelly Osborne. It seems a reporter from the London Daily Mirror had reported that Osborne's boyfriend was so dumb that he didn't know what caused earthquakes. Ozzy's daughter then proceeded to club the writer upside the head, only to be arrested...SEVEN MONTHS LATER! Claiming her boyfriend DID know what caused earthquakes, Osborne nontheless is scheduled to make a court appointment in April. Seriously, though, what kind of a boyfriend could she have if he allows her to slap a reporter for him? Wuss! If he thought he was taking grief from people before, just wait until this gets out! Kelly Osborne will never make it to Green Bay so I'm safe. Just be careful who's around when you relate this story!

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