Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Bailouts Gone Wild et al

Something for nothing: every sane person's idea of a good time. That's why we buy lotto tickets by the millions, eat at buffet restaurants even when we're not all that hungry and buy stuff we don't need when it's advertised as "2 for 1" or "but 1, get 1 free." There's something about a bargain or a freebie that enthralls us all...but now the current recession/depression has enlarged the scale to Godzilla-like proportions.
It started with the "economic stimulus package" proposed by President Bush in an attempt to convince people that he really cared about us little folks and that the economy would be fixed by an infusion of consumerism. And, if buying gas so we could get to work, forestalling the inevitable foreclosure with one more payment or managing to actually buy healthy food again count, that may be counted a success. Next, the banking industry jumped feet-first into the fray by declaring "bank"ruptcies, of course, because execs of failed companies, having parlayed complete arrogance into economic disaster, couldn't bear to be without their million-dollar bonuses this year. After all, the holiday season was upon us. Naturally, the auto industry wanted in once they saw how easy money was to come by. Never mind making cars that made sense in a global sense: they wanted cash and were reasonably sure they could get it by implying that we'd all soon be walking to Starbucks for out talle lattes. State governors, not wanting to be regarded as slackers by the voting constituencies, got together and decided it was time to demand a slice of the pie as well and announced a request for a trillion dollars to bail out, among other things, the education system (surely the government couldn't turn down tykes in school! No child left behind, and all that) All of that makes sense, but here's the latest and most cheeky (pun intended) request of all, and you'll NEVER guess the source of the request.
It seems that Larry Flynt of "Hustler" magazine and Joe Francis, CEO of "Girls Gone Wild" video productions were keeping abreast of the goings on and have asked for $5 billion dollars in bailout money for the adult entertainment industry! IN ALL SERIOUSNESS! Francis notes that the government should bail out this industry "just like it does any other industry that is cherished by the American people." Pardon the allusion, but it takes a serious set of cojones to front a proposal like that. I mean, really, how much can that stuff cost to produce? Even Eliot Spitzer's paramour got her start at a "Girls Gone Wild" get together, and they didn't even have to pay her! I'm left slackjawed by this one...but if they get it, I'm going to be "porn again!"
On a different but qually bizarre front is the latest in the Joe Wurzelbacher saga. Having hired a publicist following his aborted run for the White House plumbing job, it seems Joe has landed a gig as a (get ready for THIS one) foreign correspondent covering the Israeli/Palestinian dustup in Gaza for pjtv.com the internet version of the conservative Pajamas Media group (how can I take them seriously with a name like that?). Again, I could not possibly make stuff like this up! He will be reporting from Gaza on the Israeli perspective, and he is not concerned about the danger (I suggest he look at it from the Palestinian perspective if he's interested in danger!) Anyway, according to Joe, "Being a Christian, I'm pretty well protected by God, I believe. I mean, He won't stop a mortar for me, but you gotta (and you thought this kind of language went back to Alaska) take the chance.
Good luck Joe, Joe and Larry. You are decided proof that chutzpah is not just a Jewish thing.
I'm going to buy low in hopes of selling higher.

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