WWLDD?

If you haven't noticed by now, the economy is going down faster than a chili cheese burrito. Sales at General Motors were off more than 40% in October, and their Suburban model was off more than 60% (go figure...what were they thinking?) I checked my sandwich bread this morning...what used to be whole wheat is now only three-quarters wheat. My "all natural" yogurt claims to be "as natural as we can make it with only part of our staff still working." I've heard rumors that Starbucks will now feature only moderately tall drinks. The economy is definitely on the decline. The State of Wisconsin Retirement Board sent all of us retirees a notice last week which basically said, "Uh, maybe you should consider going back to work since the retirement checks will be, uh, somewhat smaller by May." To which the letter added that, of course, the economy could turn around tomorrow, and things would be peachy keen again. Today's good news even hinted that school districts and municipalities might have to lay off staff to cover the additional funds to pay retirees. Where's that Florida bridge you're trying to unload? AARP just became UURP!
Anyway, all of that is part of the big picture. My transportation is a bike for the most part; I did, however, splurge $15 on a pair of fenders so I don't get muddy in bad weather. I still have food and can, as of this evening anyway, make the mortgage payments and provide heat, light and food ("More! You want more?"). So...I look for the little things to signal that something big and bad is afoot. That bad news came today. Something stinks with Twinkies.
Hostess announced that, beginning Monday, they will be "downsizing" Twinkies! Was that a collective gasp I just heard worldwide? Yeah, I know...bad news is hard to take. The "new" Twinkies will have only 100 calories instead of their usual 150, and the elongated shape will be replaced by three round, bite-sized morsels. "They will eat like Twinkies, smell like Twinkies and taste like Twinkies," according to David Leavitt, the vice president for snack marketing for Hostess.
Lest you think this is no big deal, consider this: more than 5 million Twinkies are sold and consumed every year! This marks a major snack adjustment. Why three instead of the usual elongated one? Leavitt again: "People like to take more bites than one." Wait a minute...nobody other than my friend Mark eats a Twinkie in just one bite. Something is amiss here. Someone has to put a stop to all of this downsizing...the next thing you know, we'll be outsourcing production to the United Arab Emirates (after they run out of oil...soon).
I'm mad as heck, and I'm not going to take it any more. I have half a mind (most would agree I could stop right there) to go out and buy two packages and eat them both right away, consuming 200 calories at once, just to spite the Hostess folks...but then, they'd make more money wouldn't they? And I'd just get obese, wouldn't I? And I'd have less money for healthy stuff like Cheetos (real cheese added) wouldn't I? It's truly a conundrum, isn't it?
What would Little Debbie do?