Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Who Can We Trust Anymore?



Once again, it's time for the Olympics, the event held every four years that unifies the world, bans politics and has everyone competing within the rules...well, it IS held every four years. I'm sure of that.

Yang Peiyi and Lin Miaoke

Granting the Olympics to China was supposed to show how much that country, so long closed to just about everyone by a big freaking wall, had evolved into "mainstream" life. While there are hints of politics and perhaps shady dealings (see boxing judges and Chinese passport documentors), nothing has assured me more completely of the imminent fall of The People's Republic more than the opening ceremonies.

Spending 3 billion dollars on the extravaganza was both fascinating and scary. It was almost as much as the candidates here will spend on the coming election! Having 2008 people employed in every different facet was interesting, and the display of the original printing press which turned out to be manipulated by people was genius. However, the evening was marred by chicanery reminiscent of Hannah Montana and those of her ilk: lip synching. It's true! (pause to remember the Hannah Montana concert where she even used a body double while she went to change costumes...during a musical number!)

Lin Miaoke, the cute Chinese girl who appeared singing "Ode to the Motherland" was actually NOT singing the song for the audience. In fact, Yang Peiyi, a friend of hers was responsible for the beautiful song stylings we heard. It seems that Peiyi was not considered "perfect" enough to be seen, and Miaoke's voice was not considered "perfect" enough to be heard so officials dubbed in a voiceover while Miaoke "performed." What next? Tabloid sensations in China? Sex tapes on YouTube? It is a sure sign of China's decline that in a country of 1.5 billion people, there was not a cute enough kid who could sing. Sure, they have hundreds of Yao Ming wannabe's over 7' tall, but can't find one singer? Soon those three-year-olds will be asking for agents and demanding TV breaks from incessant training as well as their own cell phones (internet included) and designer clothes. I tell you, China is headed downward.

Then, there's the Chinese version of Miguel Tejada with regard to ages. Tejada, you will recall, finally admitted to being several years older than originally thought. His agent thought being younger would help him get a professional contract...and it may have. I understand fibbing about a player's age is typical in emerging baseball countries...Satchel Paige notwithstanding.

Anyway, the Chinese gymnasts are NOT all 16, and I don't care what their passports say. The government has trained these kids since they were three years old (actually, probably one year old) and has "proof" that they are old enough to compete. Looking at Deng Linlin, though, one HAS to wonder, and not just Bela Karoly who absolutely went nuts over the matter. The fact that the Chinese girls average more than three inches shorter and 30 pounds less than their American counterparts can be easily explained: it's eating rice instead of wheat as a basic foodstuff...at least that's the theory my son Ryun discovered while working in Cambodia. Asians eat different things, and this is the lynchpin of their theory for the size difference. (I say the gravity must be more significant in that part of the world...it makes as much sense).

Anyway, controversy will continue to reign in the "purest" of competitions. Boixers will continue to get robbed, and the Chinese will continue to excel in "sports" nobody cares about. World leaders will continue to debate the greatness of their nations on the world stage...all the while invading other nations' land space.

It's good to have a couple of weeks in which we only have to worry about how many gold medals one guy will win. Sex tape to surface soon after, no doubt.

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