Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

The ABC's (and D's) of Theft in Bra'ed Daylight

I have never really strolled through Victoria's Secret stores. Glanced sideways as I've walked by, sure, but ogled? Never. It always seems to me that if a guy wants to buy something that might be sold there, he should do it via the mail-in-a-plain-brown-wrapper method. I always get a little creeped out even glancing at the window displays since I might be mistaken for some kind of pervert instead of the red-blooded American male that I am. Thus, I really did not understand how the store operated and was totally flummoxed when I read the report that a woman was able to purloin 115 brassieres in plain sight, during the day, on TWO occasions (on the same day!).
First of all, I didn't think any store would have that many just hanging about.
Secondly, I had no idea how the woman, described as 5'6", 40-50 years old, weighing about 200 lbs. could simply walk into the store, shove the unmentionables (no, NOT Voldemort) into a shopping bag and make her escape without anyone the wiser. Once, maybe, but twice in the same day??? What are the roughly fifty clerks doing?
Also, the garments were valued at $5,000, which means each was valued at a shade over $43. WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS? If I had to pay that much for underwear, I would do without!
Finally, the items stolen were all different sizes which makes sense only if one plans to hit EBay later.
So, I asked my wife how all of this could happen, and she clued me in.
She reminded me that there were dozens of different styles (for me, boxers or briefs is too much) and a plethora of different sizes, so there would be thousands of these things in the store cupboards at any one time.
Also, they are arranged by style and size and placed in drawers so taking a handful surreptitiously would be relatively easy. OK, OK, I see that. Ten at a time is reasonable.
This place in the mall in Milwaukee can't be so big that nobody would fail to notice the same woman coming in twice and shoving that many items into a bag. Maybe the nature of the garment requires a more discreet approach by the salespeople ("Step over here, try this on and check yourself out in the full-length mirror" probably wouldn't work), but I've never been in one of those fancy clothing stores without someone hovering just out of my periphery.
I could not decipher how come there was such a great description of the woman but nobody caught her the second time? Mall security cannot be so slow or inept that they cannot track down a rather large woman toting a shopping bag just bustin' with goodies! I suppose the description came from a video camera, but STILL...
Finally, there must be some big secret if Victoria can charge almost fifty bucks for something off the rack most women find doesn't really fit anyway (so I'm told...no empirical evidence on this one).
I continued to be mystified by some things beyond my understanding. Research is needed.

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