The Unkindest Cut

Parents are known to do some goofy things, 'tis true. In the paroxysm of joy that is having a baby, they've been known to come up with some dandy names, generally variant spellings or that favorite uncle Aloysius. I know I hear it all the time from my son Ryun who constantly reminds me that he takes all kinds of badgering (good thing he's a Wisconsin kid) about the spelling of his name. Folks constantly say "Ry...UN!" emphasizing the letter 'u" like it's from Mars. I'll admit it's my fault...he was named to honor Jim Ryun who, at the time, held the world record in the mile run (now changed to the sissy 1600m run). Anyway, although I thought it was fitting, I should have thought twice. My wife knowingly balked at "Walker" for our second child; not because she didn't like John Walker of New Zealand who held the world record at that time, but because she could only picture our son as an elderly man using a walker for support. Such was the controversy that the poor child lay for days in the hospital with "Baby Patterson" on his little bed because we could not agree on anything, despite the thousands of perfectly good names in the baby book. We eventually settled on something "normal." That's where Paul and Teri Fields should have started.
The Fields couple from Indiana are diehard Chicago Cubs fans, and, as you might already have guessed, named their newborn "Wrigley Alexander Fields." OK, you might not have guessed the "Alexander" part, but you know what I meant.
I can only imagine the angst that this child will have being named after an accursed team. BTW, the Cubs lost tonight, and the Brewers won so the lead is down to 2.5 games in the last week of the season. Think the Cubs will hold on? I'm not so certain; there's a lot of bad karma associated with the North-siders. That's why young Wrigley is in deep doo doo. He will be forever associated with billy goats and Steve Bartman, the term "lovable loser" (Lou Pinella notwithstanding) and famous collapses. The only hope for this young man is that the Cubs don't blow the lead this year...he will be a constant, painful reminder to his parents of what could be but may never be.
Even "Ryun" is better than that. At least it's only painful to one person.