Tales From Lambeau

I definitely have a fascinating summer job: giving tours at Lambeau Field. People treat their visits like religious experiences; in addition, they laugh at almost all my attempts at humor (the value of having a new audience every 55 minutes!), and everyone leaves happy. That is unusual for a part-time gig. Of course, walking hour after hour and presenting basically the same "lesson" over and over can get tedious, but, overall, it's the most fun part-time job I've ever had. I've gotten to see people from all over the world, and I continue to marvel at how popular the Packers are worldwide. As a side benefit, I get to witness some crazy things and hear people say and do the most unusual things. This week provides great examples.
The Packers played Pittsburgh in the pre-season opener this year. Two fans flew in all the way from Pittsburgh, marvelled at the stadium and took the tour. When they began to discuss how much fun they'd have at the game that night, I was nonplussed. How would I tell them that the game was in Pittsburgh and not in Green Bay? Deciding straight out was best, I levelled with them, and when the shock wore off, they went upstairs to a sports bar to watch the game before catching the next day's flight back to Pennsylvania. Ouch. I'm betting somebody got an earful on the way home!
During a question and answer session in a private box, a youngster asked whether or not he should choose a baseball or football career. Expecting a question about the stadium, I was not expecting something from "left field" including his claim that he had "a killer arm." My suggestion? Baseball, since the career can be longer and one seldom gets whacked.
The Packers had a birthday on the 11th (88 years ago they were founded). Our guides were getting folks to sing "Happy Birthday" so I thought I'd get volunteers to lead. One high-school-aged young woman volunteered to lead so I let her. Her lyrics went "Happy Birthday, People are dying" and she repeated them four times before ending with "Have a nice day." Needless to say, the assembled group was agape. They were all casting nervous glances around for the nearest exit, as was I. Her claim was that was how the song went at her school in Appleton. I vowed never to go to Appleton again.
Just today, our group ascended the escalator to the convention area of the stadium where a business meeting was happening. There was a buffet table set up for their lunch. As we walked by, a mid-70s woman grabbed a strawberry and shoved it in her mouth before I could stop her! I almost had to lasso everyone else who, of course, thought the spread was for them. Grand theft Grandmother...who'd have thought it?
All of this makes my experience of nearly getting run down by Ted Thompson on a bicycle almost a non-event!
Gotta love Lambeau!