No food? No Fun!

I can empathize with those who spend their life dieting...and I've only been at it for one day, knowing tomorrow it will be over. There's something about knowing that food is absolutely forbidden that makes it almost impossible to pass up. I feel like those cartoon characters marooned on a desert (dessert?) island as they hallucinate that everything resembles food. This, indeed, has been one, long day. In addition, having to take a laxative doesn't make it any fun, either.
Tomorrow is the day I've been cajoled about for a few years: my first episode of video colon invasion as a preventative measure. That means: a) I am middle-aged and a cancer risk and b)I can't take the constant harangue by my doctor and my family that I'm way past due for such a procedure. No food, though...that's cold. Of course, having a bowel movement during the procedure would not be so cool, either; so, in addition to no solid food for an entire day (though I stayed up late last night "watching the Brewers" surrounded by food), there was the slight business of ingesting a liquid laxative, supposedly "lemon-flavored." If that was lemon flavored, I'm swearing off lemonade and lemon meringue pie! Now, of course, I've spent the entire evening resembling something Rodin might have sculpted.
I tried to take my mind off of the whole thing today by mowing the lawn, doing some carpentry and getting the laundry done, but it always came back to food. Let me tell you, jello is NOT food, nor are popsicles food. Broth? Hey, I don't drink that stuff when I'm NOT avoiding food. I quickly scanned the list of acceptable items, but beer wasn't on the list so that was out. Fortunately, it was about a zillion degrees here in Titletown today so that was some kind of distraction.
My main goal is to beat President Bush. He had five polyps removed recently during his colonoscopy: I hope to do better. Of course, I won't remember anything about it, but I do know that I'm going out to eat when all is said and done!
The senior citizens at Ponderosa had better get there early!