Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Those Swiss Think of Everything

I don't mind the TSA in airports; actually, it is somewhat comforting to now that someone is checking for dangerous material, even if they are seeing my nekkid person in a photo. I think it's like being a gynecologist: seen one, seen 'em all. I was somewhat surprised in Dallas a while back when I was selected for "special" search by an agent who suggested that I was less than foresightful in my choice of pants...ones I have worn through airports for ten years because they do not have a belt. Apparently, the zippers (all 7 of them) caused some consternation. Anyway, the unfailingly polite TSA person did not grope me and seemed almost embarrassed that he had to pat me down in, um, sensitive areas. I just laughed and told him to stop apologizing and get on with it. It's not like I had a knife hidden. That family heirloom got taken away in San Francisco some years ago when my friend Patty wouldn't try to sneak it through for me. Anyway, the Victorinox company from Switzerland is about to come to my rescue. The company, founded 130 years ago to make stainless steel knives for the Swiss army, first started producing its famous "Swiss Army" knife a.k.a. the Swiss Officers' and Sport Knife back in 1897 and even today produces about 35,000 of them a day. The company was named by combining the founder's mother's name (Victoria) and a French phrase "acier inoxydable" (meaning unknown to me...probably something like "Don't run holding that sharp object.") Of course, the 9/11 terrorist attack dampened sales by 30% so the ingenious Swiss had to retool (as it were), given the scrutiny of TSA; but now, the company has come up with a "flight" model. No knife is available on this one, but it DOES have a handy flash drive so a traveler can take all his or her documents along. The problem I see, however, is what to call it. Obviously, the word "knife" cannot be part of the monicker, and Swiss Army USB Drive doesn't roll off the tongue. The Swiss are ingenious, though, and I'm sure they will come up with something Patty would agree to carry for me next time.


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