Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

THAT'S A Load Off My Mind!

Seen at sporting events everywhere

All they can get is Wolfman Jack from somewhere in Mexico.

What with European money markets crashing, countries on the brink of REAL disaster, starvation and sex scandals everywhere, it's good to know that someone is out there looking out for us. Today, in response to two separate petitions on the "We the People" website, the government offered the definitive word on alien life, just as an asteroid was passing close enough to get the telescope geeks, well, geeked.
According to Phil Larson of the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy (who says government is too big?), "No evidence that any life exists outside our planet." In addition, "There is no credible information to suggest that any evidence is being hidden from the public eye." That's a relief! All of that Area 51 crap can be laid to rest! However, if you have several close friends, you, too, can have your questions answered by those in power.Sadly, it will take MORE of your friends now than before. Prior to this latest outpouring of information, all it took to get a response on a petition to the White House was 5,000 signatories. I suppose after things like "We really want to know whether or not there has been alien contact," the people who were otherwise busy at keeping gate crashers out of official state dinners decided that there needed to be a more strict policy. Thus, now it will take 25,000 signatories to get your petition a response. I can propose a few questions I'D like to see answered:

1. Why can't the government get a playoff system in college football? Every other sport has one.

2. Why do Christmas and New Year's holidays have to happen so close together?

3. Why can't we "fall forward" and "spring back"?

4. Why can't MTV go back to playing music?

5. Why can't the food pyramid include chocolate?

I think these are all reasonable requests. Furthermore, I think the government knows something that it's not telling us about all of these issues.
Gotta find 25,000 other people who want to know.


Post a Comment

<< Home