A Slow Day for News?

I'm generally a middle-of-the-road moderate kind of person. I'm only willing to take moderate risks with my minuscule portfolio, I never vote down the line with a political party but weigh the issues, I don't hate Muslims, Jews or any other minority (either religion, race or gender) because I figure everyone has a logical reason to be who and what he or she is...well, may with the exception of the political talking heads who shout at each other, convinced that the "other" side will be leading us to total annihilation very soon.
My extended family contains agnostics, deeply religious people, a Buddhist and so many ordained religious folks it's hard to keep track, and my personal background involves more time spent in a kneeling position than I care to recollect (especially the punishment kind of kneeling that predominated my grade school career). So this religion for pets thing has me scratching my head while dogs and cats scratch other places.
In today's paper, there was a lengthy article concerning a minister (the denomination will remain a secret) who organized a service designed to bless the assorted pets brought forward by owners, anxious for...what? redemption? a cure for fleas and hairballs? less expensive vet bills?
Of course, I could have read the entire article and discovered the real purpose behind the ministry for pets, but frankly, I thought the whole thing was so ridiculous that I moved right into Beetle Bailey.
This was only slightly more ridiculous that the service I attended during which the minister blessed weapons prior to hunting season.
No word whether or not he also blessed the ammunition...seems like that's what causes all the damage.
And publishers wonder why nobody reads the newspaper anymore!