Just Because You're A Girl Doesn't Mean You're A Wench.

ANNE BONNEY, famed woman pirate


Just when most of us have almost forgotten about it, International "Talk Like A Pirate" Day is coming around again this weekend. Celebrated mostly, I suspect in Decatur, Georgia, a city named after Commodore Steven Decatur who fought pirates in the 2nd Barbary War (I must have missed the first one), The celebration will again be hosted by Pirate Bob and Captain Drew. Join them in Decatur for the 6th annual Official PiratePalooza, Pub Crawl and Pubsing. And what could be more fun? It's like Hallowe'en for (sic) adults. It's costumes and rum and singing, and wenches. But remember, historically there were many women pirates, so ladies, don't let yourself be talked into being a mere serving lass for the guys.
It's called "pirate cosplay" for reasons somewhat unknown to me; however, it does involve dressing as one's favorite real or imagined pirate, quaffing ale, and speaking unintelligibly as you might imagine a pirate might. One thing, though, according to Pirate Bob, "AAARRRGGHHH!" was not really in the pirate vocabulary. I mean, even Jack Sparrow knows that.
Pirates, of course, were really terrible, violent, remorseless people who were spoiled by the ravages of war. Often conscripted into navies during times of war, they were left with no marketable skills once the conflicts ended. With no money, no degree (!) and no skills other than seamanship, what were their choices? Naturally, pirating came easy, and they were good at it!
Naturally, this upset some of the very governments who had hired them to disrupt the shipping of OTHER governments during said wars (somewhat like the Noriega/Hussein/US thing in later years), and various methods were undertaken to rid the seas of the very menace that governments created.
So, this Saturday, get yourself some dreadlocks, an eye patch, a wooden leg, and a tri-corner hat and go adventuring with all the other would-be pirates.
Wenches, beware.
You'll be "groggy" the next morning, for sure!
Just don't try that act in Somalia...they are serious about pirates there.

And, just so you won't sound like a total loser when you walk into the nearest pub this weekend, here's a little primer for you:

How to talk like a real pirate
Ordering a drink like a real pirate:
• Slavey! Fetch me a jar!
• Boy, bring us round a pot o' yer most affordable whisky!
• Alesman, me cup be dry as an old woman's slipper!
• Lass, there be two bits in it for you if me jar always be foamy.
• Please to put a splash of the old Jack rum in this old salt dog's gill cup?

And this instructional video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cKCkbWDGwE