I May Be the Last to Know...But I Sense It

Upwardly, Outwardly Mobile?
How many times have you said to yourself that you'd like a more satisfying lifestyle? I'll bet plenty of times. How many of you feel like you don't get around like you used to? Me, neither. But these two questions had nothing to do with the turn I've experienced lately. It seems somebody out there thinks I'm losing more than a step or two and thinks I need an aid from The Scooter Store.
If you're thinking I'm merely delusional, I might be, but I'm not incapacitated. That's why the mail bothered me the other day. Included in the packet was a mobility questionnaire with some seriously disturbing questions:
1. "Do you sometimes feel left out by not being able to get together with family and friends?" Hell, yes, I do. All this time I thought people were merely ignoring me...maybe all those excuses should have told me something. Here's another one.
2. "Is it difficult to get to the bathroom on your own?" Getting there ON TIME might be a bit of an issue, especially when the god Prostatus Glandiolas awakens and needs to go NOW! But the one that creeped me out the most?
3. "Have you fallen in the past twelve months?" I've fallen down a flight of stairs in the LAST TWO WEEKS! Then, there was that bike crash during the summer and the time I got a leg stuck in a pant leg while trying to get dressed standing up. So, in short, I fall all the time!
I know, I know, you're thinking that this is an overreaction to a piece of junk mail randomly sent to "Occupant," and that I need to get a grip...and I might even agree with you in my more lucid moments; but, if this is a mere random occurrence...
WHY WAS IT ADDRESSED TO ME AND NOT "OCCUPANT"?
Either this is serious Twilight Zone stuff, or somebody is trying to get inside my head.
come to think of it, I think I felt a nudge just before I fell down the stairs...and that bike crash? Concidences?
I think not.