Not April, March

It may have been true in Chaucer's time that April is the cruelest month, but I have to say that is no longer true. February is the shortest and yet, the longest of all months, but that's to be expected. It's not the worst, though; for my money, March has it all over the other months as being the one I hate the most.
Oh, there are good things about March, I suppose: Spring Break occurs during March, usually, and I certainly need the break. Occasionally, Easter occurs during March, and I love Peeps. But also during the third month of the year comes a television nightmare...and I'm not talking about the 4,500th showing of The Wizard of Oz. I'm talking about the assault on my ears by the hundreds of Dickie V wannabes who cannot successfully pronounce the word "tournament." Because Dick Vitale is from some other planet, he has been elevated to godlike status among basketball announcers. I think it was he who first began to pronounce the word "tournament" like it was spelled "tore nament". Now, every neophyte sportscaster uses the same pronunciation as if to get some of the cachet of Vitale...and I hate it...asuming that fake East Coast accent like it gives some kind of basketball credibility. I guarantee you that John Wooden never pronounced it that way. But we will hear it over and over again beginning today and lasting all the way through the NCAA TOREnament. It's one reason that I will turn the sound down if I am listening. Heck, I turn it down if Vitale is doing a game so there's no way I'm going to listen to some other idiot mispronouncing the word.I mean, have you ever heard of the "Tore de France"? no Or a professional BassMasters "Tornament"? no. Ever been someplace new and called a "torist"? I thought not.
Of course, I could be wrong. It might just be me who has been mispronouncing the word all my life. OK...I will then assume the "incorrigible proposition" defense.
So sue me. I'll get an at"tore ney"