Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Lizards of the Loom


Geckos CAN be useful, but...

I think the notoriety started with the shoe bomber guy who tried to blow up a plane by having combustible stuff secreted in his shoe.Recently, of course, was the incident with the potential terrorist setting something combustible afire in his underwear, only to be thwarted by quick-thinking fellow passengers...or maybe it was the dearth of combustible "material." At any rate, these were only the most visible instances recently of people trying to smuggle something past watchful (we hope) protectors of life and limb.
Smugglers have, of course, been around forever...most notedly smuggling drugs and illegal immigrants. Sometimes, though, something unusual enough catches the fancy of the people and, especially, the fancy of those entrusted with the cessation of said activity. If I'm looking for someone to populate the TSA or the Border Patrol in this country, I'm going to import them from New Zealand. After all, their alertness managed to nab Hans Kurt Kubus recently as he tried to leave Christchurch, NZ for somewhere else in the British Empire. His plot?
Kubus was attempting to smuggle 44 live geckos and skinks (?) out of the country: both native species and considered to be, as Mike Bodie of the Department of Conservation "similar to the family silver." Kubus claimed that he was not trying to extricate the animals to sell (worth $2000 each)...merely as a collector, but, seriously, how many of those things does a person need? Geckos are great for controlling mosquitoes and such pests, but that many?
Anyway, the fact that he was attempting to purloin these critters was not as noteworthy as hi modus operandi: see, he had sewn eight separate "pockets" (in order to keep the species separate) in his UNDERWEAR! PICTURE THAT!
Forty-four live, presumably squirming lizard-like creatures chasing around in one guys boxers...how did he sit? Didn't they make noise or at least some kind of commotion? Details were sketchy in these regards...maybe best left to our imagination.
Anyway, Kubus is looking at a fine of $3500 and 12 weeks in the crowbar hotel in New Zealand before being deported.
Wat to bet there was a cavity search involved?

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