Two Seconds To Liftoff!

I like to think I've lived long enough to know that there are very few problems that rate getting irate about. Experience has taught me that, sooner or later, I'm going to die and everything before that won't have mattered much. I will, however, be backing up a U-Haul truck and taking everything with me, contrary to popular wisdom. Hey, if the pharaohs can do it...
To imply that I have reached a state of meditative calm would be, uh, less than truthful. Admittedly, there are still some things that have me counting to 50 and STILL fuming a bit. Wet seats, for one.
It happened again today...the weather person didn't tell me it would rain so I parked my bike at school and did not bother attaching the shower cap to the seat like I do when it's going to rain. Well, it rained, and I was forced to endure a wet get seat for the ride home. It was just such an icky feeling in the worst possible place. I did have the foresight to put the shower cap on for the ride home...so at least my hair didn't get wet!
That encouraged me to think about other things that really get to me but shouldn't...like incompetent clerks.
I stopped at Walgreen's today to lay in a supply of Lemonheads (favored by just about everyone who stops in my office); the 3 boxes for $3 sale was on, so I bought three and gave the clerk a $20 bill since it was all I had. Now, there was absolutely nobody in line or about to BE in line. The clerk took $20.10 for a bill of $3.09 and handed me three cents back. When I asked for the other $17, she looked at me like I'd just come out of a pod. She took the receipt, looked at it and said, "This says you only gave me $3.10." Apoplexy could barely do justice to the way I felt. I had given her the money less than a minute earlier! I pressed the issue so she called her supervisor, who also looked at the receipt and then very dubiously at me. "I'll have to total out to find it," she noted. Ten minutes later, she turned to me and said, "We seem to be two dollars short for the day." This, of course, means that they were really $19 dollars short by three in the afternoon. In addition to abject apologies of sorts, all I got was a promise that if they found my money, they would call me. They must still be looking. I wish I could sing because there would soon be a YouTube video out there like the one the guy made when United Airlines broke his guitar.
And that was just today!
Normally, opening the refrigerator for that last morsel of something only to find it gone elevates my blood pressure...something I had been looking forward to all day simply disappeared...or opening the ice cream container to find barely a spoonful left.
And bags under my eyes: I never noticed them before this morning; and I got no sympathy from my sweetie. In fact, all I got was derisive laughter. I will admit, though, that the facial abnormality really didn't upset me too long.
That wet seat, though...and my money...and other people eating my Lemonheads!
Oh well, there's always tomorrow; and I've heard of a convenience store in Green Bay that has Grapeheads: something I've been looking for since the company stopped calling them Alexander the Grape.
See? My life just doesn't have enough serious issues. That's why I ahve to make them up.