Parlor Spider...Step In, Little Fly

Insightful thoughts and/or rants from atop the soapbox from one who wishes to share the "right" opinion with everyone.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Pushing Our Buttons Purposely

It never fails. Whenever I visit someone who owns a cat, the stupid thing finds me irresistible: it purrs gently as it rubs its body against my ankles or crawls up on a couch or chair where I happen to be sitting. It takes a great deal of restraint on my part not to make these pests contestants in the "kitty punting" contest of the day. There, I've said it: I do not like cats. I do not like them in the room, I'd like to hit them with a broom. I do not like them underfoot. I'd like to give them all the boot (OK...slant rhyme there). I have no rational reason for this distaste on my part. After all, they're rather fuzzy and cute...though I'm reminded of a poem by Ogden Nash (I think) on the subject:

"The problem with a kitten is that
eventually, it becomes a cat."

I've had dogs most of my life, and they're fun to be with but somewhat needy in the attention department. They'll chase sticks and balls, slobber all over you, and really pretend to be glad to see you when you return home after a long day at the salt mines. Cats will do none of those things. While it has been proven that no matter how much dog owners believe it to be true, dogs really don't love their owners: they see us merely as food providers. All that tail waggin' (an Alaskan dog, no doubt) is a ploy. Cats, though, seem to be more directly manipulative, and that make me dislike them even more.
Dr. Karen McComb, a researcher in England, recently published an article in "Current Biology" magazine in which she postulated that cats DIRECTLY use the tone of their purr to manipulate humans into getting them food. She calls it a "soliciting purr" which cats use especially in the morning to get the owners' attention in order that the Whiskas might soon be in the bowl. McComb typifies the sound as "more urgent and less pleasant due to the relative level of embedded high-frequency sound" as cats imbed a high-pitched cry into an otherwise relaxing purr.
McComb also noted distinct similarities between this specific cat noise and the cry of a human baby...I don't even want to THINK about that process.
But then, I'm not big on crying babies, either.

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