Green Bay or Paris? No Difference

GREEN BAY OR PARIS? CAN'T TELL, CAN YOU?

If you can let go of your sides for just a moment and regain your breath after a few mirthful moments, you'll see how right I am. One does not have to travel the world over to find that all great cities have certain things in common. Let it be known that I have not actually traveled to Paris (though I was fitted with a cast a couple of times). I've seen all the Inspector Clouseau movies, and I've been to Las Vegas to see the mini-Paris (get an eyeful of that tower! I wonder what they call it?) and I paid to have one of my children visit the city so I think I'm minimally qualified to make some broad statements as well as one very specific one. Here goes:
Every city of any note will have famous architecture, no? oui!
In Paris, there's that famous tower, the arch that the Germans marched under (the French would be speaking German now if it were not for us, though I'd give a shout out to the Resistance fighters ANY day!)and a renowned museum which features some paintings and famous furniture.
In Green Bay, we have one of the most famous structures of all time, rivalling the Roman Coliseum: of course, I'm referring to Lambeau Field. 'nuff said. The Neville Public Museum, the National Railroad Museum and the Oneida Nation Museum are all first-rate, and on Thursdays, the Neville is FREE after six p.m. Try THAT in Paris.
Strolling along the Seine in Paris is truly a lovers' delight as barges and sightseeing boats traverse the waterways offering glimpses of opulence and adventure.
Following the bike path along the Fox River in Green Bay, past the new condos and Titletown Brewery, one might by chance spot an ocean-going transport unloading coal, evincing nostalgia for the Louis L'Amour days of the tramp steamer. Dining on The Foxy Lady for an evening river cruise is about as romantic as anything one could imagine.Just don't look too closely at the water in either city!
And speaking of dining, Paris is known for its fine cuisine with haughty chefs, baguettes and an assortment of wines and cheeses designed to delight any palate. I'll admit, it sounds exotic, but can it compete with The Golden Corral, brats on the grill, cheese curds, string cheese or booyah at a firemen's picnic...with any of fifty different beers to imbibe? I think not.
And, finally, both cities have made a concerted effort to go "green" with regard to transportation. In Paris, the JC Decaux advertising company paid for the priviledge of advertising via bicycle rentals throughout the city. Some 150,000 bikes were spread throughout, and, for a minimal rental, travelers could simply pick them out of the rack and deposit them in a different rack around the city when they were finished riding. Statisitcs show that the bikes were used more than 42 million times.
While Green Bay's system was not so involved: refurbished bikes, painted green and spread throughout the city, available for free with the stipulation that they be returned to a designeated spot for the next rider...the results, sadly, were about the same.
By this time, over half of the bikes in Paris have disappeared: some have reappeared as far away as Eastern Europe and Africa; others have been destroyed by YouTubers performing hazardous stunts (titled "velib extreme").
Green Bay's "green" transportation suffered a similar fate, and in less than a year, few if any of the bikes remained, and many were damaged badly. Most were not returned to their designated spots, and the program suffered a major setback.
Supposedly, other great cities like London, San Francisco and Singapore are embarking on similar programs to ease congestion, enhance health and give locals and visitors alike a serene, inexpensive and "green" mode of transportation to visit the great architecture, thrill to the museums and sample great cuisine each city has to offer.
If only we could keep the vandals in the history books and not on our great cities' streets.