Scratch Valentine...Bring On Raphael

"I shot an arrow into the air..."

How about the St. Raphael's Day Massacre on February 14th, 1929? Doesn't quite have the same ring, does it, but, in truth, it may be more accurate. Sad to say, the belief in what was once held sacrosanct has dwindled into doubt. A-Rod used steroids, Phelps smoked pot (hey, who didn't...in the 70's?), and Jennifer Figge swam oly about 250 miles of Atlantic Ocean instead of the 2,100 miles she claimed this week to have swum. Is absolutely nothing founded on reliability anymore. At least we could count on St. Christopher...oh, no...that's right: the Catholic Church says he's probably not a saint, either. OK, then, St Valentine, the guy responsible for my meeting my sweetie by shooting me with that cute little bow and arrow...uh, not so much.
Word has it that it's really NOT St. Valentine who is the patron saint of those looking for love! This according to Clare Ward, a spokesperson for the Catholic Church in Britain's Enquiry Office. It seems that notion, too, is the stuff of legend. St. Valentine is the patron of those who have already found a soul mate...St. Raphael is the patron saint of those who are looking for the right person. So, how did this get so mixed up? Did he invent the candy heart (said to be made to resemble an upside down...uh...lady's bottom. Seriously, flip it...doesn't it look like yard art?)
It seems that, while in prison and just prior to his execution in 269, Valentine passed a note to his jailer's daughter which purportedly cured her of her blindness. The note was supposedly signed "From your Valentine." There was nothing even remotely romantic about it...maybe that's why he was executed shortly thereafter: she was expecting diamonds and got a blindness cure. There's gratitude. No soul mate, and soon after, no cellmate, either!
Anyway, here's the deal with Raphael: he helped arrange a marriage for Tobias to a woman named Sarah. While perhaps not so notable, the hidden fact is that this Sarah person had been engaged SEVEN times previously, and ALL SEVEN of her betrothed died on the eve of their proposed nuptials. The fact that Raphael was able to keep the guy alive through the whole ordeal qualified him for sainthood, apparently, and cemented his rep as the patron saint of hooking people up. Seriously, though, how smart was this Tobias guy? Seven guys had already died, and he wanted to try lucky number eight? Wouldn't YOU be a little skittish? I mean, love is blind and all, but stupid as well?
This, of course, throws the whole Valentine's Day thing into confusion. Of course, I read about this from the BBC...you'll notice the domestic newspapers were filled with other, less important things like a stimulus package, Brett's re-retirement, and a woman who lived in a shoe with so many kids...
At least Spring Training started today. That will allow me to forget this romance thing altogether. Play Ball!