Not Into U

I had to laugh yesterday: a columnist went on a rant about how Valentine's Day was nothing but a commercial ripoff concocted by greedy businesses trading on the guilt of those with significant others. Among his major targets was the idea of gifting with flowers; it seems roses were the ONLY acceptable flower to women, and if a person at work got some, there was a question concerning what the guy must have done wrong in order to send flowers. Actually, there was a whole litany of things that women would immediately infer when either they or someone they knew got flowers. I had always reasoned that they'd be dead in a week or so; thus, I don't think I ever sent flowers more than a couple of times, and those for REALLY significant remembrances (which I've since forgotten). Also, buying flowers could get to be expensive, and I didn't want the pressure of having to disgorge huge chunks of veritable wasted money every so often. Gifts like a Blu-Ray disc player would be more my style: useful...something everyone would enjoy, yet still a gift.
The whole thing got me ruminating, though, about lost love and love gone wrong. Imagine my surprise when I searched the internet for music specifically dedicated to the "jilt" songs of yesterday and today and found dozens of sites devoted to heartbreak and anguish. Sites such as mtv.com, dating.suite101.com, breakupsongs.com, cmt.com, rollingstone.com, and even one just for men who've been dumped: askmen.com. Presumably, there's one for women as well, but I was already exhausted so I simply tried my best to compile my list of "favorite" breakup songs.
When I realized that 35% of the people in the 35-54 yr old age group have already been divorced, there's a lot of heartbreak out there. Those of us married more than 35 years have practically NO chance of divorce, according to statistics, and today's newlyweds have a 40% chance of not making it all the way. Daunting statistics, but music gets us through a lot. My list is not as eclectic as it could be. Depending on your choice in music genre, your list will be a bit different. I'd love to hear about it.
Here's my list, in no particular oder:

The Tracks of My Tears I sobbed to the Johnny Rivers version, but I think Smokey Robinson and the Miracles did it, too. (OK I will admit this is my #1, all-time, it-hurts-so-bad-I-can't-feel-my-liver song. I still have the record somewhere, worn out and tear-stained).

This Diamond Ring from Gary Lewis and the Playboys reminds me of just what wusses we guys can be. "Here, take this diamond since it means nothing anymore" is the message of the poor, lonely guy who's just lost everything.

Glad To See You Go by the Ramones. I get the feeling, however, that he's not REALLY all that glad, just blustering for appearances sake. Just like a guy.

Hurt"by Nine Inch Nails and covered in 2002 by Johnny Cash. There may not be another more depressing song in the universe.

For country music fans old and young, there are many, many choices. My favorites are
D-I-V-O-R-C-E and about five others from Tammy Wynette who had her own issues with George Jones and love. I can just hear the pain in her voice.

Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks is another one of those macho attempts to show up your ex by messing with her new life. Hey, just get over it and get on with it. There's nothing more pathetic than a guy who can't take "it's over" for an answer and continues to hang around like a whipped pup just ASKING for more misery...benn there and done that!

Carrie Underwood looks at it from the distaff side with Before He Cheats, and the Dixie Chicks put out the ultimate get even song with Goodbye Earl. I imagine there were a lot of nervous guys out there when that song came out even though the male-dominated radio airwaves generally refused to play it.

I Hope You're Happy Now is the Elvis Costello contribution to the list while the "other" Elvis gave us Heartbreak Hotel and a host of others.

More recently, Def Leppard had a smash hit with Love Bites, Nazareth scored with Love Hurts, and the J. Geils Band told it like it was with Love Stinks.

Even Beyonce gets into the list with Irreplaceable when she sings, "I could have another you in a minute." Ouch...easy on the ego...just because you CAN doesn't mean it's right! Truth? Let me down easier than that!

Even comedic actors have a dark side when it comes to love. Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer begs for someone to kill him to avoid the misery that love brings. And, finally, my second favorite: "Wierd" Al Yankovic's One More Minute. Anyone who'd rather clean out bathrooms in Grand Central Station with his tongue than spend one more minute with his ex has really got it bad.

Whew! That's a heavy load for Valentine's Day. To say that this puts pressure on all of us is something of an understatement. Of course, when we fall in love, we expect there to be no bottom to the fall so even when it's upon us, we figure it's an anomaly and go right back to finding it...(country bridge)..."Looking for love in all the wrong places."
Me? I'm an incurable romantic who believes that there is someone out there for EVERYONE. No matter how much pain we feel, there's always The Tracks of My Tears and comfort food.